Secret that people don’t understand

I have that same issue. I am constantly having suicidal thoughts. And no one knows it but a few. I don’t want to live to be that old myself. I don’t think I would do it though. I can understand the feeling completely. Sometimes it boils down to the root of why you feel the way you do. The Best thing to do, I imagine is to talk to someone. Don’t be afraid of letting someone know how you feel, (family, friends, therapist, etc.) Someone out there will understand and be able to help you to the best of their ability. Just stay strong and if you feel like you are going to attempt suicide, call a hotline or family or something. Some people just find the idea of suicide interesting. I know I do, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling sorrowful. Just hold your head high.