everything doesn’t make sense, you know? you think you know what you want but when you think about it again, you realise you don’t. you know alcohols bad but whats wrong if you never have to be in the state of having to think things through.. one day were all going to die,so what makes the difference of doing it now or waiting? whats so important in life, having a job, a family, a home and friends..or just simply enjoying everything you do, not giving a shit about the world, doing what you like..what makes that so fucked up? why does drinking, smoking, sleeping with people make me so fucked up? its fun isnt it.. why does the ‘boring’ version only seem the down side. you know that what will happen if you carry on like this, you know that if you fail college you’ve got fuck all left but yet you carry on. Whats the point to anything? look how small i am in the world, im nothing. just a human adding to the numbers, who will remember what ive done when im dead? noone, because compared to the world and humans were small..compared to the universe humans are just something ,we don’t matter. people say to live everyday like its your last, or live your life because its the only one you get..but what would make my life so good? in the end were all going to die, our little problems, our feelings there nothing to this world.. whats the point of trying, whats even the deal with death..its just death, were all gna have to go. whats sucess? loads of money, a family and friends, is that really what will make you happy? what happens when you know your too fucked up to be normal again, you know noone can help you and your minds racing with thoughts of being normal. i cant help how i feel, i just want these thoughts to go away. im fed up of being fucked up, i just hate it. my friends, my family, my lovers there not real to me..everything is so unkown and im scared of it, im scared of what i dont know, the fact there is so much i dont know. the world, what is it? feelings? what are they? death, what is it? life, whats the point of it?