My first post on here, I was shocked to find people could even comment, more shocked to find that people saw me as an inspiration to live/fight for their right to live. When I post that, I was in a dark place, my boyfriend had said something he never should have said, that was to live with my abusive mother that would of guaranteed death one way or another, hers, mine, hell what if My dad had a heart attack again for all the fighting going on… death would surely occur no matter how you looked at it, murder or suicide. You never tell someone to an emotionally impaired person that could make them snap…. all that because he wanted a break from the relationship, because he felt he was under too much stress… He felt that he wasn’t getting the things he needed to get done, and he wanted to blame all that on the relationship. Well, sorry to burst your bubble boyfriend, but it’s your own fault for not hanging out with your friends, for not writing to your father, for all the bills you have to pay, that you had plenty of money to take care of that off the bat prior. I gave you all those opportunities, if not encourage you to strive to meet your goals, and you turn around and tell me it’s my fault. I don’t take that bull shit from anyone.
Anyway, we fixed that issue all up, he apologized profusely over it, and regrets letting go the one thing that was there for him all along. We’re still on a semi-break, in a relationship, just toned it down a lot. He’s feeling more motivated to do the things he’s been trying to get done now. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be more problems arising in the future, I know that we’re going to have our fights, or battles, what relationship doesn’t, there’s no such thing as a perfect anything, relationship, friendship, family, personality, nothing is ever guaranteed or perfect.
The thing I wanted to talk about on here though… I want to organize something, I want to set something in motion to finally get this government off it’s lazy ass and help the people that really need it. A strike if you will. A strike from life, pretty much stating “if you deny us our rights to live, you accept the charges of murder.” It’s for anyone who feels like they are ignored, or not receiving the help the need, (counseling, medication, any assistance that can improve our living conditions). Hell, even if it’s just $50/mo. on cash assistance to help with medical or living costs to relieve some amount of stress, anything is better than being told you’re a liar, or looking for attention. They want to see attention, they’ll find it the hard way when they piss off one EI person to far that there’s a knife to their throats. How I want to go about it though, is basically a no business look, not saying you can’t eat or do normal activities, but more like, don’t pay for things that can kill, don’t leave your house for activities you have to buy, (movies, gym, crap like that). Point out them that by depleting our enjoyments is depleting our economy. In my case, I don’t even live on $1/mo. Hell, I live for nothing. I may get food-stamps, but even that doesn’t pay for the food I need to survive. I’m on their medicare plan, but I can’t even afford the $3 they want to charge me on a check-up. I lost my job over a year ago for a company that didn’t want me to succeed, I was in school, and they reduced my hours to 4 a month! how does that pay for shit, when you can’t drive, and can’t even afford a bus to get to work? The government doesn’t care whether you live or die, and it’s blatantly obvious.
This is my plan for me. I refuse to pay anything that I can’t benefit from, from here on out, why go out to eat when I have FS to make my own food? I’ll just have to ration my food intake is all. I’m not paying any bills for services I didn’t even ask for. I’m not going anywhere further than I need to. no TV. no video games, I don’t need them to survive. any information I need about the outside world, I can get from my local and free library. Will not take the bus to go anywhere, I can walk. No more gas will be spent on me. It’s probably the boredom that will kill me to death, but at least I lived on their stupid ass specifications on how to live a life with no money. I’m not greedy, I just want the right to live, and I shouldn’t have to pay with my life because I can’t pay in some other currency.