never imagined dat i’m going to be like this. once i was a meritorious student. gradually i lost interest in my studies due to less marks in public exam. this continued and finally i failed in my graduation. since dat day i feel dat i dont deserve to live since i’m not reading well, i should not enjoy, i should not talk with people…………etc. i imposed all these restrictions on myself. i have everything i want……but not happy. future seems to be hopeless. no confidence on me, fear of failure, stage fear, irritation, always lost in thinking, not interested in anything, feel dat unfit to enjoy anything. i have to try very hard to concentrate. no one is there to hear me. everyone is busy wid their lyf. i dont want to live. i’m just leading lyf. what wrong i have done? why should i suffer? people says hardwork never goes waste. but where is the result for my hardwork? will it come after my death? i dont find any hope to live and i cant continue my life with this pain. better to die than to live. i hate myself for being born, for being alive still. i’m a nature lover, painter, writer……etc. i had 1000s of wishes for myself. but going to die without fulfilling them. people around me including my parents treats me as a waste fellow. when i was good at studies they cared a lot for me. but now they look down. is studies sole criteria to determine a person? i want people who accepts me as i’m not these people………….what the hell is my lyf????????????
god take me away………..
3 comments
Hello
Well first of all there are a million things one can study and be very succesful. I dont quite understand what you wrote when you said “i cannot read well”. Do you have any dyslexia or anything like that ?
In any case, you dont need to study aeronautical engineering, you can study law, or economics, something like that, which is very easy and gets you a lot of money.
People should appreciate you for what you are, not for your education. but your education is good for you, so you do it for yourself.
hugs
hello
thanku for ur reply.
i cannot read well means…….gradually i lost interest because i wanted to become an architect, parents compelled me to take up electronics. lost confidence on myself. people around me are not treating well since i’m nt good at academics. i should do whatever they say. i have no choice in lyf.
i guess i’m suffering from post traumatic stress disorder since 6years. if i say this people would laugh at me, they wont believe me.
anyway thanku fr ur reply.
gud day.
hi
again, do choose the study program that suits you in all aspects plus the usefulness in the future. Once you have that combination, then go for it.
electronics is extremely interesting, architecture is a great thing, both of them are fairly difficult matters, and not necessarily the ones that will bring you the most money.
It seems that you are Asian or so ? I mean, due to this absolute obeyance to parents rules to the point of choosing your studies. In any case, you need to study something that you will be able to complete fairly easily and that it is practical. Law or economics are the easiest things and like I said, they bring a lot of money.
regards