hiii

hi my name is marc. i have schizoaffective disorder. it hurts to think..it’s hard to talk..sometimes i feel normal but sometimes it’s difficult to function..complete deterioration and agitation and fear..anxiety..im prescribed a bunch of narcotics..they try to keep my doped up to control my thoughts..my neighbors have been recording me for a long time..they have audio recordings of my movements..i receive ssi benefits and am afraid that one day i’m guna be this dude with a unkempt beard homeless riding my bike around town picking cig butts out of ashtrays..i saw my doc yest and she said i’ll never be homeless cuz of my benefits..that gave me a lil hope but it doesn’t help my inferiority complex..it’s like my law..they want it to recede but life is very hard..communication is awkward sometimes..i try to say the hip cool things to my friends but it just doesn’t come out..i burn and cut myself..and really feel nervous and sad..i know yall hurt to..i hope yall know we live n a sick and painful world but it gets better..sometimes i feel normal but it’s tricky well i hope the best for u guys and try to be understanding cuz mental illness is real and its an enigma so help ur fellow man cuz life can be beautiful..i usually write dark poetry but today i kinda had a breakthrough i wrote about how caring my doc is and how she wants to make things beautiful for me again..i have social anxiety but if anyone wants to chat my email is marc.gambino@yahoo.com thanks take care..and remember when ur feeling down remember that GOD LOVES YOU..peace