Okay.. So I’m not writing this because i’m really depressed or anything like that. Right now I couldn’t cry if I wanted to. I’m in a neutral emotion and I guess it might be distorting my real feeling or something… But I’m really tired of hurting people. I feel like that’s all I do. I let people close to me and these people want to help me.. To fix me. I warn them that it won’t get better and for a while it might, and they think they did good. All of a sudden I spiral downward. I can’t do it. I can’t smile for them, I can’t laugh, I can’t pretend to be happy. I want to get better but I just… It is too hard. They then get upset… Because I’m not better and it hurt me knowing that they are hurt. I decided I’m going to leave. Save everyone the trouble and just leave. I don’t mean suicide.. I’m just going to step out of their lives. They don’t need me.
I wish I had the strength to kill myself today. I really wish i did.
I love you Austin, I want you in my life always. But I can’t bare to hurt you anymore….
Bye
5 comments
Too tired to comment at length but I empathise – much of the time I feel same way.
I like this post…because you said you aren’t depressed or anything…SYMPATHY (:
kaylee i love you too and idc if u hurt me im here for u always i love you with all my heart and im not gonna ever give up on you no matter wat i swear 🙂 i know i might not be able to fix u but im gonna try and i know i might not make u happy but im gonna try and i know i might not be the one but yet again IM GONNA TRY 😛 and ya i made an account just so i can comment on ur stuff and so i can help others too <3 thats all i do i help others before myself so plz let me help you to be happy again if u truly love me
i love you <3 i have to warn you a lot of people on here commit suicide, no one can help some. I lost a couple friends..
And i care if i hurt you.. i do… 🙁
babe i know i cant help em’ all but i can try (btw as u can see i dont give up EVER :P) and im scared u might hurt me but idc even if u do ill still love u and wanna hold u