Hi, I’ll try and keep this short. I think I’m just about at the end of my life. My life used to be pretty good, at least I had a solid career. Then I started getting incredibly bad headaches and tingling in my hands and feet. My condition deteriorated until my short term memory disappeared. At that point, I started experiencing personality changes that culminated in bizarre outburts of cursing and the weirdest symptom: my distorted mind pulled whatever story i had recently read or seen on TV and somehow confused it as my own history, which I could no longer remember. So my personality shifted with whichever source story my mind focused on. I thought I was a soldier injured while fighting in Afghanistan and a cop injured on duty, among others. None of which were my actual profession. Finally the doctors found  a rare brain tumor that was benign (non-cancerous) but life threatening due to its location. The symptoms were a result of pressure on my brain caused by the tumor. I underwent emergency surgery that took over twice the expected time (over 9 hours) due to complications, but was ultimately successful in removing the tumor. I had a really difficult recovery in the hospital, with complete memory loss, personality disruption, and loss of self. But I recovered enough to be discharged. Here where it gets really sick: the home I went to recover happened to be in a neighborhood that was stocked with a group of people that I just didn’t get along with during high school. I always thought to let the past stay in the past, but they apparently disagreed. So I got assaulted twice and completely degraded,  both verbally and physically.It was a really difficult thing to handle right after brain surgery. But that ended, I survived, and tried to restart my life . But my memory just didn’t work right. I tried to start multiple positions in my field, but I continued to make mistakes that led to my firing. And I have PTSD from the events surrounding the surgery and the assaults, which is hard to handle. I can’t ask family to support me, it just wouldn’t work. Thankfully I’m single, never married, with no children, so I won’t be leaving anyone who is dependent on me. Thanks for reading my story, good luck to you all.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
Having read your story it is quite obvious you don’t deserve any of this. Some people on here are here because of theor own actions but you have been succumb to misfortune, so you do not deserve to be in this position. I cannot lead you into telling you how to continue life but remember that you do not deserve this.
you survived some pretty tough shit, i dont think you should give up just yet, try to work throught this too…
Hello
I have read your posting word by word and I admire you and I wish many “normal” people could write that well and show such good feelings.
I dont know where you are living, but there is something that it is not possible. After your traumatic illness and the consecuences on your health, you are by law entitled to life time state support as partially disabled. A medical tribunal must assess your degree of handicap and grant you a life time pay. Being fired due to the consequences of that trauma is plainly illegal.
Being assaulted physically and verbally and nothing happens ? Are you kidding ? What is the police station for ?
What beats me is that you have been capable of recovering of a brain operation and when you are now healthy now you want to finish yourself. This should not be so. There is all the good in you, but you must claim your rights, and if possible, find a girlfriend. Good girlfriends can make wonders in the life of a man. I should know, I never had one!
I’m sorry.