i thought i would have it figured out by now.

I haven’t posted in a while. I have been actually seeing my friends. Leaving the house. To be honest just trying to get out of my own brain. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years in February and just heard that he has a girlfriend, a business up and running and is doing well. I do not regret breaking up with him and I do not want him back but it really makes me question it all. Why wasn’t he like that when he was with me? And why don’t I have it all worked out now? I could potentially grow old alone and unsuccessful. Although I need to remind myself that I would rather be alone than in a bad relationship.

Today I was walking to a friends place and to get to his place I need to cross a highway. It crossed my mind that I could easily make it look like an accident. If I ever have it in me to follow through, I’m just going to walk across the road with my eyes closed.