WORSE DAY EVER.

I feel like SHIT today. I could berely get out of bed. And today is supposed to be ”family day”. Great! I don’t wana go anywhere or do anything or see anyone. I just want to be aloneee. The cuts that I did a few weeks back are now scars. But I cut pretty bad so the scars are very noticable, even with my newer cuts. But I like them. They remind me. And in some way, make me feel a bit better. But they also make me wana cut more, and make more just like that. I make sure I pick the scabs so there are scars. Is it bad to get obsessed with your own scars and cuts? I don’t care though. I wana be 18 as soon as possible so I can move out and leave. I hate living with my parents. They don’t know anything that’s going on with my depression. They just think I’m being a teenager and ”think I hate them”. But I actually do hate them. They don’t get that at all. There are only a few people in this world that I love. I was just thinking now, how much I like writing here. Like it feels good. I used to have a journal. But I didn’t want my mom or dad to find it. Or even my friends, because they would be shocked. I let my best friend read it, and she had me go over to her house when she finished it and she was crying, like really crying, and I started crying because I don’t like to see her cry. And I’m kinda glad I let her read it, because it’s hard for me to open up to people and so that was a way for me to open up to her. But I stopped writing in them. Maybe when school starts again I’ll start writing in them too. Better get a lot of notebooks because I use up sometimes 5 pages a day. And with my journal I wrote everyday for months and used up 2 notebooks and they were filled. I like to sometimes just read them. My friend told me that the way I wrote it reminded her of the book ‘Go Ask Alice’. I like that. The book is very good and people should read it. It’s an easy read too so pretty much anyone can do it. Saw the movie as well, but the book was 1000x’s better. I’m rabaling. Alrighty. Time to get ready. Ughhh.