“you rise and fall your back up against the wall what goes around is coming back and haunting you its time to quit cuz you aint worth the shit under my shoes or the piss on the ground and no one loves you and you know it dont pretend that you enjoy it or you dont care cause now i wouldnt lie or tell you all the things you want to hear cause i hate you cause i hate you cause i hate you cause i hate you i heard your sick sucked on that cancer stick a throbbing tumor and a radiation high […]
July 2011
It’s that feeling kicking in, again, like you’re the most worthless piece of crap and nobody will be there for you.
Everyone around me is content with their life, maybe not happy but content enough not to need some depressive ***** stepping up on their sad-feelings-free turf. And that moment you despise those people, those who don’t have to deal with all that stuff; People loving how things are in their head, in their entourage. But you also feel sorry, sorry for you needing those people close to my heart to lend a shoulder to cry on. You’re not doing this […]
My skin. So fragile and easy to cut up.It covers the nakeness that i feel behind my bones. Suddenly these days. I just dont want it. I just want to tear up every skin cell i got. Every strange noise i here or if something happens i just scratch deep in my back. Just last week i found a black scar behind my shoulder blade. I didn’t know it cause something like that but guess what? i dont care i really dont care. Skin is skin it will repair its own self. Just some of these days i just dont want it. I want it […]
I’m sorry I couldn’t satisfy any of you with my death.
I scared of my future, my present, and my past. They are all stained with fear. I knew this person who said “One person can make a good chage”; half truth, half lie. That person forgot to tell me or tried to make it better at the moment, but made it worse at the end. One person can make a good change… But, one person can make a bad one; the worst part that both can be taken by the same person. I’m trying, I really am, I try to cope, but I don’t […]
I’m sick of this. I can’t take it anymore. I’m lonely. I’m so damn lonely it’s going to kill me. I HATE BEING ALONE. I’m tired of crying my eyes out every minute of every day. I’m gonna take a bunch of sleeping pills before I go to bed. that obviously works for other people, it should work for me too.
I want to gush.
I want my skin to be sliced.
I want it to be over.
But why don’t I go ahead and end it?
I wish I fucking new.
I just want to be dead.
some times she want her to tears to catch people eye
maybe then just maybe thell ask whats wrong
maybe then shell find someone to trust
someone who want say suck it up cry baby
someone to tell all her troubles to
maybe then shell have a best friend
maybe then her life will get better
just maybe she can calm her tears and be happy
I feel sick and weak and tired. No one wants to talk to me. And if they do, it isn’t because they want to listen to me. I don’t even know why they are doing so. I wish everyone can just leave me alone and let me die or locked me up somewhere and leave me to die. I’m going out of control. I’m going crazy. Real crazy.
Pls don’t tell me to seek help, cause where is help?
Pls don’t tell me I will get better, cause better is what?
Pls don’t tell me I’m a coward, cause I may really surprise you.
Pls don’t tell me to talk, cause all I want […]
Should I write down names on my suicide note?will 13 benodryl kill you?should I do it in the school bathroom or where?
I hate being with my family for extended period of time. My brother’s constantly been flicking me & smacking me & talking about hurting me in different ways. He’s just been a complete ass, which doesn’t make sense. Maybe the fact that dad picks on him makes him feel like he can say that to me? I don’t know. But it’s not like dad only makes fun of him. He makes fun of me too. I just know how to laugh about it & not show how deep it hits. All I know is, everyone’s been mean instead of being relaxed this entire week.
& they […]
Ive currently been deployed for more than 6 months now and everything was going great. Back in the states, in garrison i used to be a shitty soldier. I made idiotic mistakes and got in trouble. Eventually i recieved an article 15 ( UCMJ). After that everything became better. I gained rank, became better at physical training and eventually got married. Shorty after that , my unit was deployed in the middle east. Our one year anniversary is in a few weeks.However, recently a lot of things have been going wrong, and due to my mistakes that keep repeating themselves, the punishments keep adding on, […]
Im sorry of what i said to you! How i judged you! God contacted me and made me understand, that “this isn’t a race to the bottom” God understands your pain perfectly! He knows how you have been bullied without a real cause or a reason. If you were straight, you’de be having none of the issues you have now. You have been wrongly judged and it was also wrong for me to wronly judge you and your suffering. Please forgive me! You see, i have never had a biological family of my own, so i dont understand, how cruel they can be. I thought […]
I have another party tomorrow night, another thing I have to go to looking horrible compared to everyone else. I would rather take a walk alone in the dark with my ipod, I might leave and do that.
I feel like life is a prison cell. I’m forced to stay here despite how finished I am. My entire life was a waste of time. I’m not the person I could be, though for some reason people admire me… it sickens me.
3 Friends know of my wish to die, but their words of advice are useless to me. My mind is made up, I do not want to live anymore. I’m not ready for the life that was given to me. Some people don’t ever think they’ll live to be 30, I didn’t even wanna live to be 20.
I can’t kill myself because […]
Rogue Shadow, I considered him to be a murderer and assassin. In my false comic thing of whatever that he was just an alter ego of something I wish I could be. Then, last Sunday, we were going home and my perception was at a high and knew everything like the mind of a genius killer was part of my brain. it was a simple thing, but thought to myself, we’re going to pick up my car. Turns out we did, I was creeped out by that but also excited over the potential. Now he’s in my brain, driving me close to insane. I blamed […]
I want to cut.
I want to cry.
I just want to commit suicide.
not today, but sometime I will.
I could take several bottles of pills.
Then slash my wrists, and tie up my neck.
I don’t care if no one checks.
No one cares, they never have.
curled up, clutching my legs, crying a river, cause that’s all I can do.
no more cutting, all because of freakin you.
I’m almost numb, thank goodness for that. don’t know how much more pain I can take.
this loneliness and lack of love will kill me someday, if no one comes to my rescue soon.
But I don’t mind, I am but a young girl in distress, […]