I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for about 10 years. I’m up and down but have been controlling it fairly successfully with paxil for the last few years. Suicide is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I couldn’t ever ever hurt my family that way. About 2 months ago I started getting moderate to severe headaches every day. I have a very stressful job and not being able to work because of the headaches only makes it worse. I’m ambitious and I feel like I’m going nowhere at work. Anyway, today I’ve been fantasizing about ways to commit suicide. So far […]
July 2011
The HEART is so important;
the ventricles pump the BLOOD.
The BLOOD is so important;
it carries NUTRIENTS to the body.
The NUTRIENTS are so important;
They feed your MIND AND SOUL.
But…
What if your MIND AND SOUL are lost…
And you don’t know where to find them?
What if the NUTRIENTS were so vile…
You no longer wanted them?
What if the BLOOD can only help you…
After it has been freed from your veins?
What if your HEART was broken…
Would you still […]
You make things worse. I understand that everytime I say I feel bad that you automatically think Ima resort to self harm. I know why, I’ve given you ever reason to think that but do you really think yelling at me is going to help? I really appreciate That you want to help but please understand I can get through the simple stuff on my own.
I try telling her how I feel and she always thinks I’m bringing her down. That’s not what im doing at all, I don’t wan’t to hurt her I’m tired of it, I wish she we would understand me and understand that I know she’s there for me and I always wan’t to go to her for advice or when I’m feeling alone.. But I don’t think I can do that anymore I just don’t wan’t to say anything serious maybe just a hi or how are you doing. I felt like I was at the top again with her and everything was going to […]
i know how it feels, that very feeling. when you’ve had enough, not just of the problems your facing with your life, but just with living. waking up everyday, thinking of death and how things would be after, where you attempt to end YOUR world and have a nice peaceful sleep for the rest of eternity. sounds nice, but you always have had enough of these thoughts. if you cut you’ve had enough of the scares and blood, if you do drugs you’ve had enough of looking for your fix, and looking for the next high. i also know how it feels to fail. fail […]
I’m 46,married but I like guys I have 3 teenage kids, job that does’nt pay the bills, an alcoholic and been chased out of local AA, overweight, no passion, kids do drugs, kids are on probation, dogs and cats have ruined house, car broke, phone broke, tv’s been shut off, computer broke, been writting a suicide letter for weeks. Funeral plans are mostly done. what’s I dont get is why im still here, why I take a shower in the morning. mostly worried my kids will do the same after i’m gone… wtf
I have to do this.It’s not a choice for me because I know deep down inside once things get better they will get worse 100%.there’s 1 million questions but no answers so why create theories? why wait for failure?I think about suicide all the time sad,happy,bored it doesn’t matter what I do it’s still going to be there.I can’t run with broken legs
So much has been going on. I hate it all. I hate my life. I want to die. So let me die.
The boy I like has been noticing me more.. he’s been talking to me a lot lately, and I catch him looking at me. I want something to happen between us. But I’m scared if he knew everything about me he’d run in the other direction.
I found this…just on the sidewalk. I don’t believe in coincedences or anything but it ‘spoke’ to me…
Move on.
It’s just a chapter in the past.
But don’t close the book.
Just turn the page.
Hey guys i wanted to say that my numbers were erased, so if you can just text me again and i’ll program you in 🙂 thanks.
There are times when I lose hope. When everything seems to be falling apart and I’m getting hit left and right. There are times when I want to give up and let the darkness swallow me. But then I think…what good will it do? I’ve been to that dark place…the place where god no longer exsists and not even your family and friends can save you. In that place you search and search for that one thing that will save you. Yourself. But it’s hard…it’s hard to figure out something that could be so easy to know. Yet it’s gone. And you struggle and struggle […]
i dont think i can do it anymore. my depression is so bad it is almost palpable, a crushign weight bearing down on me. I feel like I’m trying to carry and elephant on my shoulders, while trying to make everyone around me think it is a parrot. It hurts physically to move, I don’t want to eat. I’m not tired, but I just want to go to bed.
And nobody cares. At least I dont.
I cant deal with this anymore.
Hello.
It is 26 July, my name is Harry, it is my real name. I respect all the readers of this story, so I`ll be honest and upfront with you. I am from a black past, no family, no one who cares for me. I am 34 years now, and look back on a extreme hard life where I had to pay for everything myself from off the moment I was a child. I am raised by the state, in a church institution, and was learned everything the hard way, the assumed I was going to become a bad boy. I got extra attention cause of […]
I’m not an angst riddled teenager. I know that I am loved. I know that I am worthwhile, smart, attractive and could make a difference in the world.
But life is hard, it is tiring. It is one obstacle after another, most of which I suppose you learn from, eventually enriching your life experiences. I admit, my life has had more obstacles than many peoples. For one thing I have chronic medical conditions which have severely impacted my quality of life, loosing jobs, having to drop out of school multiple times, and putting me in ongoing debt, even with government assistance and insurance. I also have […]
I can not stand this place anymore. I need any and all ideas on how to do the final deed but I want it to appear natural so my wife will get insurance money and no one will realize it wasn’t suicide. I am a grown man (mid 30’s) with good core values. I served in the military and paid for my GI Bill out of my first years’ salary. I had a girlfriend going in that I was gonna marry when I got out. She sent me a letter saying she was sorry but she messed around and didn’t want to be with me. […]
My best friend last year died in a suicide. His wife had cheated on him and I knew he was dangerous and I tried to save him and his career without involving authorities. One day he failed to check in at work and I suspected the worse and visited his home. I opened the door and he was laying in front of me where he had shot himself with a very high powered rifle. The stuff was everywhere. My heart hit the floor. Ever since then I made contact with an old close friend that happened to have been a married woman. At that very […]
So I was originally googling best methods for suicide and came across this site. I thought there might as well be one place I wrote the truth.
The reason I want to kill myself, is I’ve lost who I was, everything. My friends, talent, school marks, personality. Lets just say I’m a complete failure.
I think I am a perfectionist, I needed to be reassured so that I didnt fade into a nobody, but hey too late for that!
One night in the city waiting for a lift a man tried to rape me in a dirty bathroom, He ripped off my shirt and touched me, I […]
So.. Like many, I am new at this. I have never written a blog or a journal where other people can see it, the only things I have written have been for my eyes only. I’ve read other people’s entries from here, some about how they can’t deal with life anymore, some about how they are feeling as they write and others about how their families are suffering. I feel for you.
Reading other people’s stories has made me figure out that the feelings that I am feeling are real, that other people out there are feeling the same, and it’s nice to know that I’m […]