idk if you read my comment, but add my yahoo
MrSebastior@yahoo.co.uk
This is not a short story, but it is true and this will be the first and last time I shall tell it. I suppose it needs to start from my childhood. I was adopted in only one could say a disfunctional family. My parents were seperated from the day I could remember which did not help the situation. I have a brother not of blood, but you could not ask for a better brother in the world.
We moved not just houses but states many times before grade 3, where we settled states but not houses.
I was picked on all through primary school and some […]
alrighty so i might not go today as i planned to. but i will go sometime this week.
i tried to enter the school building but i couldn’t, social anxiety. so i took the bus back home. and i know i won’t be able to handle school.
I drown myself in my own self pity. All I want to do now is be with a girl, hold her tightly, kiss her, anything as long as I show deep appreciation and sincerity towards her. Of course, this is just my desperation for happiness that I believe I deeply deserve, but I don’t actually deserve anything. It’s not my mind that I’m telling myself I need a girlfriend. I might be having hormones or maybe anxiety or lust. I don’t know, but I have cold chills at the thought of school starting in less than one day… I thought I had at least 4 […]
Friday or Saturday will be the day. I have no idea why I’m posting this on here. I guess it’s almost a form of closure. I keep getting really anxious when I think about how mum (and dad) will feel when I go out and don’t come back home. I’m fighting that though, and the will to die is a lot stronger. I wish this wouldn’t hurt my parents but I know it will and I feel terrible for that, but everything is just too much.
hi, I really dont know what to put, err how to word it is more correct. I am not a big talker on my problems n of what my reactions are to them but I saw this page off of a website i just read n well i thought id give it a try. You can say i am suicidal, and you can say i am not.  i will say i really dont know myself  if  i am.
My life has been basically faked to most of the world, good dad, sweet mom, nice older brother, happy go lucky daughter. the usual type of “family” as you can say.
Well what people dont […]
People… some are nice, some are very nosey, some are very complicate and others are back stabbing lying bitches whom i fucking save their lives many times. And what do i get? I stab to the back. After all the times i fucking help them fucking listen to their stupid problems fucking drift them away from suicide and i get two TWO! back stabs to the back. I didnt have to help them if i didnt want to. They could be possiblly be dead right now if i didnt. But what do i see in my eyes right now. FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FUCKING FAKE! […]
I’m freaking out. I don’t know why. I’m blaming my manic-depressive this time but I’m about to relapse. I know where my dad keeps his pain pills and I have a fresh razor and ik it’s gonna feel amazing to look death in the eye again and I’m trying not to because I’ve been doing so good…I’ve never been good at this, but, please, somebody help me.
Scared and alone I walked through my house. I was just in a huge fight with well everyone important to me. I had no where to turn and n one to talk to. I didnt know what to do so I made my first ever cut. I used scissors.. then I started liking it and I began to do it more often. (Later I learned that the feeling that one gets from self harm can become addictive) my wrists and fingers were my targets, they were shallow cuts at first, ones that left no scars. Then I began to want the scars on my body, they seemed […]
Alcohol.
Cute kittehs.
Soda and candy.
Food.
Sleep.
Good books (when able to read).
Movies (when able to watch).
Family (except dad).
Drawing (when able to).
For now i guess that’s it. Think it’s a good idea to try to sum up some things you enjoy about life, however meaningless they might seem to others.
Many years ago..almost 24 years to be exact…I fell in love and felt that love reciprocated…After of 14 months of “love”, we had a huge argument/misunderstanding which ended our relationship without a formal goodbye…
Years later, thanks or no thanks to facebook…I am again reunited with he who was/is the love of my life. He tells me that he never forgot me and that I am and always will be the love of his life….We start a “relationship” again….but he is a different person now..selfish…calls when he feels like it…writes when he feels like it…in the start, everything was rosie…now it seems full of thorns…
He is […]
“Mourning” – Tantric 2001(self-titled)
Is there something that you’re trying to say
Don’t hold back now
It’s been a long time since I felt this way
So don’t hold back now
I purposely forgot about
Loving anyone
Cause I’m the only one who has
Who has been stepped upon
Is there something that you’re trying to say
Cause I can take it
Cause I grew up a man this way
And if I’m hurt I’ll shake it
I’ll crawl back into my cave
That’s how I’ll make it
Cause out of all this hurt we have
Beauty thus become
Beauty thus become
In the […]
I intend to kill myself sometime next week. It’s going to hurt, and i’m probably going to chicken out. Again. But the thing is, i don’t really have a choice anymore. I’m rubbish at school, utterly incapable of studying and my study funds will most probably be cut. I haven’t bothered re-applying yet.
I can’t pay for my apartment, which really isn’t my apartment, since it’s i my sisters name…. If i fail to do so, it’s not my financial record it’s going to tarnish, it’s hers.
I know i’m taking the “so called” easy way out, but i just don’t care anymore. All i can do […]
Either I’m depressed again. Or I just hate when people take away my mic for ps3 because I spoke loudly or the firt time the whole day and she flipped out. Now I feel depressed again. I feel happy that it’s back, in a way. Probably because I believe my old habits make me at ease. Or that’s how I interpret it. I allow myself, with my 16 year old and oxygen deprived mind, to believe that is why… My uncle came home with bloody hands (I of course am not British, I am Mexican and not proud of it) because he got in a […]
just drank a bottle of vod and took 5 tylenol 500….. im not going to die am i? fuck
I just want to have someone to turn to. I need to hear a human voice tell me that it’ll be okay. I need human warmth to accompany the voice so that I can believe the words I hear, no matter how much it goes against my nature. I’m so incredibly lonely that I would rather die than continue to feel this pain. I would rather die.
Ok so I’ve been reading around various online forums and, MANY people say that when you hang yourself (no neck breaking) it takes about 30 seconds to go unconcious, i agree with that because of my experiences, they also say it takes 3-4 minutes for your brain to basically die, and up to 20 minutes for your heart to stop beating. Is this true? what do you think?
Life is a *****, and I like what the other poster yesterday posted here: “shit do happensâ€. it’s unfair. and even I myself still try to determine whether everything is totally pure random coincidences (and thus some got dealt the bad deck of the cards), or there is some kind of Providence or Higher Forces (God? Aliens? ETs?) who ‘play’ with our fate/destiny…and a seemingly “cruel†one at that, but hey, They are free to make ‘experiments’, right?..
So, I suppose everyone has always thought that their life should be special. That they should have achievements in their life. I thought I had plenty of achievements in my life. Since saying things to random people can help even if there is no response I’ll give it a try. It may be selfish but I hope that I’ve deserved it. I’ll start from the beginning.
I’ve had a skin condition that makes my skin look like a fish (ichthyosis Vulgaris) since I was born. In public school I was harassed and had no friends. Even the teacher treated me as if I was infectious. Since I […]
the bordum is getting to me ive been depressed in the past am almost a past cutter but damn with nothing to do i dont know what will happen next……….. suicide?
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