Complicated

September 7th, 2011by benvaldez1

I just wanted to share my story…. I’ve thought many times about comitting suicide but I just don’t want to hurt my family. I’ve been blessed in many ways in my life with a beautiful family, a good job and life style. But deep down inside I suffer from a deep agony from the past that doesn’t let me live in peace.
It’s just an impossible and unrequited love from the past that has been hunting me for many years now. She came to my life like a shooting star, stole my heart and left. I tried to ignore that fact 15 years ago and I got married but now that I’m so deep in to the marriage and so many things are at stake that I see no way out. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by destroying my family, I know for a fact that she will never b with me, so I don’t know what to do.
I’ve though that if I make my suicide look like an accident, it will be easier to digest for my family than the fact that I committed suicide.
I’m so blessed but at the same time I’m dammed for being a sentimental fool that can’t make peace with the destiny that I designed by myself and because I can’t let the past go.
I feel like dying from thirst in front of an oasis or being unable to see the sun when I’m right in front of it.

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