i’m here at work cryin to myself silently cause i am just not happy
its not like anything traumatic happened
i just dont feel loved, wanted or desired
dont feel smart eough, cute enough, rich enough
no friends, stupid boyfriend , no family where i live
i am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me
do crazy people know they are crazy ?
is there like something really medically wrong with me why every other week i have severe sucidal and depressed feelings?
i dont know how to talk to anyone about this
i want to be normal and happy like everyone else
never thought i was retarded or anything wrong with me before now
but something must be wrong ….i cant believe this is my life
i always thought i’d be a successful person in life
i’m only 26 and i already feel like a loser and a failure and i just want it to stop
just want life to stop
i’m sorry God–i’m so sorry i am having these thoughts — i’m sorry i am wasting the life you have given me
please God , please i just want to be happy
i’m sorry
2 comments
I think the severely fucked up people are unaware of it and think their trip is ‘normal’ and try to get other people to live up to that standard then wonder why everyone falls short. questioning your sanity is probably a sign of intelligence. you probably don’t get paid enough but at least you’re competant enough to hold a job- hats off. you’re desireable enough to have a partner. hats off. lower your expectations maybe and you’l be less dissapointed- that might be bad advice.
I have no choice over think about and how I feel and weather or not it’s socially acceptable to think and feel that way- maybe this is true for you also.
we crazy labeled people know we’ve been labeled crazy because we’ve been labeled crazy for years by everyone we know whom we were honest with; we’ve been in crazy hospitals, on crazy meds, kicked out of schools, fired, arrested, homeless, in government programs, dealt with every type of so called specialist, doctor, social worker, counselor, and shrink; and made unemployable as a result of our inablilty to behave and express thoughts in consistant manor with what is expected of the contemporary mentally stable individual.
I think those who are seriously insane do not have insight.
I think we all want to be loved, understood, and recognized.
I don’t think you should be so concerned about being “normal.”
I wonder what you think normal is.
Most of the thoughts you are having sounds pretty “normal” to me.
If my reply made you feel worse, I apologize.