Pretty self explanatory… but I have no one to contact to help me when I am feeling this way. I don’t want to worry my parents, I’m an adult now… I know they’d rather worry about me alive rather than mourn my death, but it’s hard to reach out to them. I feel as though they wouldn’t understand. I can’t talk to my sister because this is the month her best friend killed himself.. the date just recently passed and I am afraid of triggering her, she is not well mentally herself. And my best friend.. love interest.. well his brother killed himself. So I just feel like.. I don’t want to worry anyone even if they rightfully should be. I have a son.. and every time I reach out to his father (whom I dated for 3 years.. and is the only one I feel comfortable confiding in..) he tells me I’m being a bad mother. UGH. I just want someone who understands.. I’m so exhausted and yet I don’t want to go to sleep. I’m afraid I’ll lie there and consider it.. and follow through with it.. I don’t know. I used to cut myself to deal with this.. I learned healthier coping mechanisms but they don’t seem to be helping. I’m writing.. I went to the gym… I went to a movie.. I am trying so hard to get myself out of this slump! Please someone, please someone help me.
3 comments
Please, please, do talk to your parents. I understand and respect the reasons why you cannot talk to your sister etc, but your parents …. you yourself say that they’d rather be worried with you alive than devastated with you dead, so please tell them. You feel like they wouldn’t understand, but you don’t know until you try! You may be surprised.
And then seek some medical/psychological help.
I am glad you are already doing things like exercise and doing enjoyable activities…even if this is not enough now, keep doing it and it will pay off eventually.
If all else fails, I am here for you to talk, as are probably many others on this site. You can email me anytime on geli-p at bigpond dot net dot au, now or any time in the future.
I am a mother, and I have been depressed for a long time, but I have also beaten it many times (for the sake of my children) and I will beat it again. Sharing it with friends and family is one of the most important parts of my coping strategies.
Keep strong, good luck!
Hi stones,
First let me say that we are never to grown to let our parents take care of us or I should say to let them know that we need help. You must give yourself every single option available to get help!
Second, there is no shame in needing help. Also, please seek a crisis hotline if you must. There are so many options available to you. There are depression/bi-polar forums. Their are crisis lines too. You also have groups on Facebook, if you have one. They are entirely centered around those who may have mentally illness issues.
You also have a therapist via telephone and face to face too. There are so many options for people. Some.just don’t use them. Please make sure you use one of them.
One last thing, I lost my cousin May 2, 2011 to suicide. It ends your pain but creates so much more pain. I have become an open book for those who suffer from depression. I talk to them. To try and make a difference. You can always message me. I will be here. <3
ur right abuse survivor theres friends here and we all have felt the same thing one time or another