are they reality or fiction. r they gay or broken. we all live each others live living all lives forever. yay you get to be everyone. arent you excited? look at someone and imagine being that life. even objects. imagine being made to live all possibilities all options of how life can go. believe it or not…. victims eternal.
September 2011
With thoughts of the past i close my eye’s and fall asleep.
The sound of nothingness calms the crushing sea of sadness in my soul.
The final escape from thoughts that i will carry to grave.
My dreams of a better tomorrow swiftly turn to nightmares.
It seems that the sickness has found my final refuge where i store my depleted hope.
The many pieces of my heart that i wish i could take back.
Alone is where i live, The tears i shed my companions.
My companions never leave for long so i can’t understand why im so alone.
3 years ago, I had a friend, Kimberly was her name, she was my best friend, we were suffering of bullying just because I and her liked to dress in black, we were taken as satanic people, people laugh at us, curse us, says that we were going to burn in hell or whatever they believe, we tolerated this for 3 years… until the day she proposed a double-suicide
“No Kim, not going to happen, sorry” I told her, after that, almost everyday she asked me about that, but I didn’t really wanted to commit suicide.
One day, when I arrived her house, she was with a […]
My life has taken a dramatic change for the worse recently… It’s my own fault, but none-the-less it is hard… Harder then anything iv ever experienced… When my life changed, I suddenly found myself alone… Not just without the love that i so deeply desire, but… Without anyone… Why do poeple say that you must learn to be happy on your own before you can learn to love someone else? If you took a couple that was deeply in love, who had both learned previously to be happy on their own, and then tore them apart… It’s not like they would suddenly know what to […]
Just stumbled across this forum and read a few of the posts, and for some reason felt “inspired” to share some of my thoughts. I guess I find it relieving to read other people’s dark thoughts when I spend so much time with my own thoughts of that caliber. Hopefully some of you can get the same sense of relief out of reading this.
Most people would probably say that I have no reason whatsoever to feel depressed, misanthropic or hollow. At the age of 24 I’ve added many job merits to my resume, I come from a loving home, I’m athletic and buff, I live […]
I just took enough pills to kill milwaukee and you assholes want a fuckin letter
i feel like just another sob story whats the point of talking about the past. my councilers say it makes u feel beter me it only brings up old pain. im Carla my biological mom had me in high school. then she had my brother out of high school. my dad was never around. some say i wouldve died if it hadnt been for my greatgramma. she died a couple years after i turned 6. my mom was a junkie her suplier was her boyfriend my oldest sisters dad. he hit her and me and my brother. one time when he was drunk he took […]
Its been three years since I entered this college and I was thrilled that I’d finally be an engineer. My lust for technology, I thought, would be at last satiated. But in these three years, all I got was petty setbacks and failures.
I’m a computer programmer, the best that there can be in this shit place that they call “college”. But no!! No one really cares about what you know here!!! All the retards who just played counter strike the whole time got placed in the campus placements and me, (do trust me when I say) who sat all day in front of a […]
I’m really not in a good state of mind right now, I just can’t seem to get my head clear. You see this new girl got highered at my work and i thought she was cute from the start but I never thought anything of it because well, its work. But a week or 2 later my friend tells me that she likes me so i went with it and we started talking a lot and just suddenly i really fell for her and eventually we hooked up. Then a few days later everything hit the fan…first i come into work and she is covered […]
I know we’re not supposed to talk about methods here and shit, so this post’ll prolly be deleted
but what’s your method of choice? are you combining methods?
mine’s ligature asphyxiation
I can’t breathe. I just wish god would end me right now.
The burden of days
buy another simply to struggle through
weary hand wants to fold, weary back can not hold
wonders the point when there’s nothing new
Contempt for the ways
digging deeper & knowing it’s wrong
much too far from goal, farther still from the soul
is the horizon to come or already gone
The lament of the loss
thought the walls would deflect the hurt
but it all feels like hell in our out of the shell
even the rose ends up rot in the dirt
Resent for the mirror
failed until nothing else can be known
those aspiring demands turned to ash in my hands
Felt inclined to post an update to my wonderful internet diary of sentimental thoughts that drive me insane. Or whatever.
Anyway, so if anyone has been following my story the last few months (please comment if you have, I’m boredddd), I’m on a wonderful self-destructive path to win back the girl that kicked my heart in the ass a year ago exactly, who left me and dated my best friend. Don’t ask; she’s really cute and we have so much in common it isn’t even funny.
Despite screw-ups earlier this month, things are actually going alright. We’ve hit it off again and we skype and talk alot. […]
The one I love more than anything, have given everything I ever wanted for, has one thing more important than me; he wants to be a Marine Corps officer. I gave up a commission in the Navy to be with him and that’s fine with me.  My brother has been in the marine corps for 9 years and part of that he was in Iraq.  I was terrified everyday that my brother wouldn’t come home.  My love has already let me know that he will not give up his dream and that I had better get used to it.  he is the best Ive ever had and […]
My girlfriend carried out her plan on the 5th, I did not find out until the day before from a mutual friend. Â I can’t believe she is gone and most of all I can’t believe she left in the way she did. Â Even though I have tried to commit suicide numerous times myself I never thought that someone I loved would do the same. Â We lived about 4 hours from each other so I have been back to her hometown even weekend since she has been in the ground to visit and sit with her body, in that lonely cemetery where she is not even […]
just as it always has beenishow it’salways going to be. it feels like broken glass. i fucking hatemy fMILY
My girlfiend and I broke up nearly 5 months ago. We were together for a year. It was the best year of my life-full time job I love, own apartment now a girl I like and respect. She told me on our first date she’s bipolar with an anxiety disorder. She showed me all the scars on her arms. I was quite taken aback by all this at first but thought, ‘well, everone’s got shit we need to deal with’, and all I can base people on is what I see in front of me, and she was sweet, honest, cute, and I thought courageous for telling […]
How was everyone’s day? Mines Shitty and depressing. Ignore my friend who was trying to help me. Damn depression. Damn headaches. Damn sleeping but only to waking up the next day. Damn life….
Well I suppose I should start from the beginning and fill all you in. In May 2010, this guy Alex asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and it was the best realtionship ever! I know that I’m young, and can’t fully understand the concept of love. But I truely believe he was the only one for me. We were best friends before we dated and could talk about anything and everything. We would sit on my porch for hours talking endlessly. Sadly, back in January 2011, after dating for about nine months, i broke things off with him on a sudden impulse. […]
I’ve tried the few times when I am alone. To fill up the bathtub sink below the water. Let out all my breath and some how try to find the courage to breath in. As hard as I try I can’t will myself to do it. Why won’t I just die. My husband found me trying to overdose on pain pills Why won’t he let me die I can’t give anymore can’t he see I’m selfish, stupid, worthless, lazy, I’m a bad mother, and have no ability to bridal my emotions why won’t he let me die.