please end

I am alone, and want to die. I am sick of this feeling, and everything that goes with it. I am well aware this is all my own doing. I make a bad friend, family member, and an even worse husband. Im a horrable human being. I am not being too hard on myself. Its just time to face facts. Because i cant pretend to be something im not anymore. Its that simple. Ive lost all but 2 of those who are most dear to me, and im probably loseing one of them. And i cant blame. Id walk away from me too. Ive done absolutely horrable things in my life. Now i must endure if i can till the last one dies so i may die as well. Its the only decent thing ive done. I dont want heaven or hell, simple nonexsitance would be perfect. I always though everything would turn out diffrent. I had good intentions, but that wasnt near enough. I hate people…..i truly do. But i hate my self most of all. I hope this ends soon.