Scared.

Ya I understand shes scared of me cuz shes afraid im do somethin to myself bcuz she sayz itz over but she dnt really mean itt. I cant change the past of what I did before. The 1st time idid it i waz serious but not bcuz of her bcuz of my best guy friend :/.. i waz so hurt once i found out wat he said. Alot can change in a year I never thought iwuld evr evr have thoughtz bout hurtin myself but ido bcuz ido feel lik mayb she iz forced to be wit me 🙁 I love her and will alwayz love her no matter wat icant move on even if it dnt wrk out iwnt accept bcuz shez my 1st everythin..1st kiss..1st gurl who iv found who likz me 4 me n it may not b bcuz of my lookz or my hair or any of those thingz itz bcuz of my personalilty. I know from here on now shez guna b scared of me 4evr prob and i do want to live my life wit her til the fulliest iwant to marry her have kidz with her die old with her..i want her part of my life every step of the way..Maybe 1 day iwont have those thoughtz..but itz good I have my gf 2 tlk bout this wit n icant talk wit any1 else but her.Sometimez I do think of me being gone I do bcuz idk ifeel lik mayb life n her life wuld b better..ikno every1 goez thru this n ikno im not alone but I need help right away b4 somethin bad happenz 2 me..I do want help but who kan help me with this :/