you think you know..

  September 2nd, 2011 by Kitty

you know when you tell someone something, in hopes that it could make a slight difference? but it comes back to bite you in the ass? only making it worse than it was? i’ve made that mistake one time too many. it created problems with the person that i told. and now all said person can do is fucking worry about me and go tell someone else about me “talking crazy again”. no. no. no. it only makes it worse. because i don’t need that person to come and check on me to see that i’m fine. and ask if i’m ohkay. because obviously i am not. and then to make things worse, people say, oh, i know what you’re going through, or i’ve been in your shoes, or i know how you feel. to a certain extent, maybe. like someone could tell me they’ve been in my shoes in the sense that they too have wanted to kill themselves before.. but did you feel exactly as i felt when i wanted to? no. i know what you’re going through? no. you may know in the sense that i’ve told you what i’m going through. but don’t be so fucking vague about what you mean. because in all honesty, you haven’t been through the same shit that i have. and i’m not talking about all people as a collective whole right now. i AM talking about certain people. so don’t assume i’m being rude towards everyone. i’m just done. telling people things. at least people that can make an immediate change. if that makes sense. someone that can do something ab0ut it right away. it puts stress on them and even more on me. maybe i will survive if i continue to write on here. but, we’ll see.

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