“You’re not suicidal are you?”

My sister pokes her head in my room and asks me. I lie and say no. A few days earlier she asked me, also out of nowhere, “What do you believe the meaning of life is?” I didn’t really think about it, I instantly replied “No meaning. Does the grass or trees or animals have meaning? Do whatever you want”

Sometimes I feel good; I’ll eat properly, work out at the gym, and hang out with my friends. Other times not so great, I stop eating, have no energy to work out and spend all my time alone.

I heard a story once. This girl is outside, screaming at the police to let her in the house. They say “No, he has got a gun” then boom. The man inside has put his brains all over the floor. Leaving kids and an ex-wife behind, who knows where they are, not there. The body is carted off, leaving the girl to scrub the blood off the floor.

A friend of mine says to me “When are we going to get some guns.” I reply “I know an excellent arms dealer, got videos on youtube! It’s 5 hours away.”

The current law in my area is such that an officer can request information from an internet service provider. They may do this without a warrant or any kind of judge supervision. So information, namely internet activity logs, are provided at the provider company’s discretion.

I know this shit, I was part of a 3 person team that ran an internet service. Then I moved on to another company with only 2 people. My ip address is right on display. Owned by a company I have no control over. Maybe I have to set up a proxy. (check and mate, easy peasy)

There is a 47 year old married father of two. Who stalks the internet, tells people why they should kill themselves, and then offers the best methods. He gets to two people. The girl jumps into the river and the the boy hangs himself. The proof that he aided in their deaths is all over the internet. The man is tried and convicted. 360 days in jail trade for the two lives. The guy was pretending to be a girl all along in his internet life. Hell this could be somebody on this site. You never know.

So there, I said a bunch of stuff, without really saying anything at all.