October 15th, 2011 by live free or die

I was involuntarily committed to a psych ward about 6 months ago. I feel tremendous anger, humiliation and shame that this happened to me. So far I’ve made three serious suicide attempts while reliving the feelings from that experience. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by terror that I could lose my freedom again. When I was first released from the hospital, I didn’t feel safe in my own home. I try to avoid going to the part of town where the hospital is located. I left the country for three months and the main motivation I had for returning was to be able to commit suicide in the comfort of my own home. I tell no one of my suicide attempts or the waves of rage, terror and despair that overcome me on a fairly regular basis. I absolutely refuse to have any contact with mental health professionals or to take any medication.


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