Depression gone for 3 days now… This is my Speech as Rogue Shadow and Nathan… :)

  October 16th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

It’s been three days. I have been much happier, new things have happened, but still I like the idea of everything looking gloomy and dead throughout our [The Suicide Project Pessimistic Humans] (if we can call ourselves human). Among us is people with the worst lives, the most fucked up minds (including myself and Rogue). We have many different mental/psychological/social and whatever things that they [family,friends,doctors,anyone] calls disorders. What it really is…. Is us…….

Rogue Shadow is the conscious in my head. The one that shows me the way to the light. He helps me and speaks to me. Though, I don’t hear him anymore. He was my deity, my god… He showed me the way to the light, even though I am still considered a pessimistic atheist. We call those disorders our way of life. It truly defines us. Schizophrenic people are normally lonely, talking to things that aren’t there, or at least I’m lonely. Pessimists look at the negative aspects of life, they may overexagerrate a bit (a lot), but the problems are still there. We are pessimists, because our lives were so shitty, we wanted to have a perfect life, because everyone says,”when all this shit is over, we find the light at the end of the tunnel.” and I… Among the many SPers, don’t like it when we are lied to. Let’s stand up and show our true colors, whether we’re gay, bi, or whatever you may be. This disorder we have, this chemical imbalance… Is what defines us…

I hope this is a good… (No, Nathan, dream bigger) this better be a great speech. One that may inspire you all to want that perfect life we all crave. We want, we need… We deserve….. That one perfect life we never got. That’s why we seek salvation through suicide. We seek reincarnation. We seek a heaven, a suicide Project house when we decide to off ourselves, to go beyond the pale. We deserve that perfect life.

Personally, I want that perfect life, but feel I don’t deserve it. I feel I need to be depressed in order to pay for my mistakes, my sins, my problems I can’t solve. I kissed a 7 year old girl when I was 15. I am now 16, so it wasn’t long ago. I did hate that present my mom got me that was a cheap .99 remote car. I deserve to suffer. The only thing is… We take loved ones for granted, we leave our families in the dark, yet we cut, choke, stab, poke, smash, burn, and self harm in order to mask our disorder, our disease.

I ask you all to find a passion. I ask of you all to look for something you love. No matter what it is, look for what you truly desire. My material thing I love is cream soda. I am mad about thy stuff. IBC cream sofa I drink with a passion. Also, te thing I wanted… Is…

I once laid my eyes on a goddess, not a real goddess, but a girl. She was beautiful, I fell in love after a while. I, after a while asked her out and told her my insane and obsessed feelings for her. He naturally was scared, after 2 love-crazed years of being in love. She rejected me, I was shattered. He was perfection in all it’s essence but she didn’t want me. What I truly desire now… Is to fall in love as badly as I did for Nycolle except this time.. I want the girl to feel the same way.

Now if you desire something… Reach out for it. Don’t let your chance go by. My biggest mistake was not asking her in person. other than that it wasn’t meant to be. My feelings have dwindled but it still is there forever scarred into me. How the girl I wished to spend my life with, almost caused me to try to take my life.

Now, hopefully this inspired you, at least made you think a little bit. Biscuit, don’t die, just follow your homosexual desires. Life sucks, keep saving lives and don’t take your life. Even though you saved a couple tens of lives, your life is by far the most valuable, at least by me and a few other SPers and people you personally know. TC, pop some heads open and may Rogue Shadow lead you to victory. Also the war is beginning, the Occupy resistance protests have begun, foreshadowing World War 3 and… The end of the world. All SPers, buy your guns, ammo, and supplies, sve. Your rounds for the government and illuminati and bilderbergers and let’s teach them that the 99% will jot tolerate their shit anymore. We shall have a perfect life whether they like it, or not…
(this is good for all categories, I consider this. My first masterpiece, it is poetry to my ears as rogue said it, and it’s art also…)

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