Finally let out a tear in months.

  October 10th, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

Began thinking of how much my relationship with my dad changed ever since he started beating me over little things a few months ago. I tried hugging him one morning extending my arms towards him. He got out of the way and walked off. I wanted to hug him goodbye when I left for school. Still teary eyed but not crying yet. Maybe I should try hyperventilating until I have a panic attack. That’s always fun.

Rogue was back one day and went away the next.

I downloaded 10 apps of depression check and 6billionsecrets.com and took the tests and posted crap. Nickname was suicidal16yearold and Rogue. I took the tests and one said major depression, maybe scitzophrenia. Here’s one of the tests. It isn’t meant to really be used as a test for them but good to know

Your M3 Score is in the high range as compared to individuals already known to be suffering from a mood or anxiety disorder. This is cause for real concern, as it indicates your symptoms are impacting your life and general health. Read carefully the information and recommendations below concerning your risk of each of the four conditions described.

Depression - High
Anxiety - High
PTSD - High
Bipolar - Low

Recommended Action
Your HIGH overall M3 Score indicates that you should contact your physician or a mental health care provider as soon as possible to begin a discussion of your M3 results. It is important for you to share these results with your physician.

Well then. My mom asked if I ate when she left for work. That was at about 7 and I said yes. I told her also I have still been blacking out though. Wonder if she’s worried. I wonder when’s the next time I will faint. Hopefully this time I don’t hit my head too hard. Malnutrition. I don’t eat because of attention seeking laziness and/or an eating disorder. Maybe even greed over my money. I want $70 for homecoming tickets and this saturday is the dance. I only have $30 and get $25 of allowance. I don’t have a job. Allowanc is every week. I also need the money to eat. Maybe I shouldn’t ask Janel to homecoming. I wanted to make her feel good. I didn’t manage my money well. Now I pay for it. I can’t even ask her because I’m a coward. I told my mom I can’t sleep. Actually I just wanted to post on SP. It’s like a ritual. Maybe I have OCD. Also as you can tell. My thoughts are disorganized. Wish there was a psychologist on this site to diagnose me through my text. My best friends/only friends that really know me are total strangers that live from an hour away to a few hours drive away. Most of them (except one) I have never met. How am I to ask out Janel anyways?

Text me at 8052638123 if you’d like to get to know me. Like it would matter if I knew you, but I will try to be nice. Just text SP at my number. At least I think that’s my number. I’m not sure of anything anymore. Cell phone is dead right now. Tell MrSebastior I said hi. Life sucks keep up the antisuicide thing and keep being sadistic. Biscuit of death I hope ou find peace. TC: Rogue said hi for reals haha.

The echo of voices in the middle of the might is routine. Is this another mental disorder or schizophrenia? I will read the comments but not comment by myself as my cell phone is metropcs. I love talking on the fine as I never talk to anyone hint hint. My time zone is around california idk what it is and I get out of school at 2;48pm in case anyone wants to call. I don’t have a lot of minutes but I never use them anyways. Well see ya… Hope I don’t die along the way. Jk I’m too ***** too do it.

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