Hide, Die, and Health

I want to hide. I want to cry. But right now i feel even more dead than before. I wish he was here to tell me that everything will be okay. That he would hug me tight and stroke my hair to conforted me. But i cant get that. He isnt here. I wanna die. I wanna hang myself from my tree. I dont want to see another day. breath more oxygen into my body. Consently have chest pains, pain in lungs, headaches, sore throat,and other painful health. Why cant anyone just take a hammer and knock me out of my misery cause really. I dont want to hurt my best friend nor do i want to hurt him. But living isnt worth it anymore…