History Doesn’t Always Repeat Itself

I tried many years ago to commit suicide and obviously it was unsuccessful. Since then, I have lived and experienced more memories. Some good, but mostly bad. In fact, recently they have been some of the worst. Now, as I wake up everyday I wonder why didn’t it work those years ago. Everyday I fantasize about it and feel a deep pain my chest and am unable to breathe. Sometimes I’m eating dinner and I avoid eye contact with my family so they can’t see the tears stream down my face. And I pray everyday that tomorrow doesn’t come. But I know it will. And I know I won’t try again, but they say history repeats itself. Or does it…