Hopeless

  October 3rd, 2011 by pencilssss

Right now I’m getting Harped at by my parents to go give my aunt a birthday present, I don’t want to. Not that I hate my aunt or anything, but, I don’t feel like moving. I’m a lost cause, I’m 17, and too afraid go to school. Was I bullied? Beaten up? No, I’m just a coward. Social phobic, and agoraphobic from birth, it is only recently that I refuse to go. Last year, my best friend moved away, which caused my depression to relapse. Last time a best friend moved away, at the age of 13, I became suicidally depressed, not only that, but my asshole teacher decided to show a screamer In class, which caused me a whole lot of anxiety. School was hell, it did’t help I had a clingy stubborn close-minded “friend”, who tried to “covert” everyone, I finally got rid of her a couple years ago. But in the end, it leaves me with only one friend, a good one, but I can’t talk to her like I could with my other friend.

My grades are slipping from all the school I’m missing, and tomorrow I’m going to an out-patient program, one I’ve been to once before, last year when I spent my school year at home. This year seems to be heading that direction. It doesn’t look like I can make it through highschool, which means no college, which means no future, so why do I even bother? I guess my parents are keeping me alive, along with my fear of the afterlife ( or lack thereof), and my desire to play videogames, pathetic huh?

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