I live in regret day after day. And I’m tired. I’m just tired of having nothing to live for. I’ve been listening to “it gets better” over and again and it doesn’t, it hasn’t. Self-help is no help at all and there’s seems to be no actual gain in pain.
6 comments
What do you want?
Ive gone through all the pain a person can go through in a life time, gained what I’ve gained, I’m through with it. I just can not make sense of it. I should be crying really but I have managed to contain myself so far.
you’re right that self-help isn’t the answer. i also don’t think that group help or just sharing your story really helps either..
but you weren’t born to suffer, and you weren’t born to feel this way. so what are you saying? “i can’t live like this” – you’re right, you’re not meant to live this way. so what went wrong? surely the world can be blamed, so much is wrong with this world, but what will you do about it?
i’d be very glad to talk to you and encourage you more about changing your life, because i don’t want you to live like this either. please will you email me? (see my username for my gmail)
I’ve been trought this too, sort of, it is ofcause different from person to person i guess.
Other than my sympathies, i want to say that in my experience, there is no guarentee it gets better, for me it has only gotten worse.
So im trying my very best to get my life better, by opening up to people, tell them how depressed i am, and you’re doing the same with this site.
Pain is nothing anyone should wish to linger in, it is just easy, i do it too, but i really dont want to, because it hurts.
No one really has anything to live for, II’ve read french philosophy enough to understand this, We’re are forced into existance against our will, and there is no god or no great force that shows us or gives us the pint in life.
I’d like to talk to you about life and meaning more if you want to, because i too would like to talk to someone about that, if you are interested send mea mail
Viktor@carle.dk
-Willy101
@bubbles
“Ive gone through all the pain a person can go through in a life time”
I don’t mean to laugh but ha ha. Don’t forget that you’re on the internet. That alone means that you’re financially stable or in a position to be able to walk down to the local starbucks or mcdicks and use the free wi fi on your laptop. starving somalians, diamond field slaves, sweat shop kids all trump your pains.
Many of the people who leave messages here are teenagers. I was a teenager myself when I first tried to kill myself. Afterwards I was lucky enough to be assigned a psychiatrist who was not a middle-class American, but a European, like me. Also like me, he was a political activist.
I was only a teenager then, too young to do anything more than march in anti-war demonstrations, so I admired my psychiatrist, who had been a revolutionary in his homeland, arrested and tortured by the dictatorship. Yet he said he admired me. Anyone else who’d suffered what I’d suffered, he said, would have gone insane.
I was also lucky enough to marry a woman who I loved, and who loved me. I’ve met few Americans who love themselves, much less anyone else.
She was the most loving human being I’ve ever known, but I didn’t see her as exceptional. I saw her as the person we can all be, if we do what we know we should. Unfortunately must of us do what we must, or think we must, in order to get what we want, or think we want.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. After several painful surgeries, I told my wife that I’d had enough. I’d rather die. She told me she’d rather die with me than live without me. To make a long story short, I’m still alive and she’s dead.
I’ve been exceptionally lucky. Not lucky in the way most middle-class Americans think they deserve, but lucky in the way most of the world’s people wish they could be. Most people never love, or are loved, as I was. Suffering is the norm.
I pity them all, but I’ve finally accepted that I can’t help them. As Virgil told Dante, the damned choose their hell. That’s what depresses me.