The door to my balcony is only five feet away. I’m on the 19th floor. I’ve tried killing myself four times. Why can’t I jump? Just thinking about going over the rail makes me cringe, yet it wouldn’t be a bad death. I’d have a beautiful view going down, it’d be quick and certain and quiet. I sat out there for two hours yesterday, wearing only a t shirt and shorts in 6 degree weather. I tried to psych myself into jumping, hoping that the cold would numb my fear. Â Eventually I gave up when I heard my next door neighbour come into the cold for a smoke. Â It doesn’t matter. I doubt I would have jumped. I wish I weren’t so scared.
1 comment
dont jump you will change your mind on the way down