I dont know

I didnt do it.. BLEH i regret I didnt do it. but they way I was gonna do it need to be a little nosy and my mom and dad were sleeping so I didnt wanna wake them.. anyway, thanks for all the helping comments ! BTW; I think Im actually gonna give life a fift chance! I gonna regret it but I dont wanna hurt the people I love that much. They are really amazing and I know I cant stand seeing them in pain because of something I did. Why would I be so selfish? Even though I did try to kill myself like five times, Im standing on my feets. And For me to be thats pretty impressive! I know Im gonna take this back in a few days, maybe tomorrow, mayby tonight, maybe in three days. Who knows? We just have to live our life, and try to see the good side of it! And Truss me IKNOW that is hard to find a good side of it. But if we take this guy who has been depressed in about 11 years, then think about what happen 12 years ago at this time? Maybe you can try to make life a little bit like it used to be. And YES i know, its god damn hard! It’s nearly impossible for someone, but try to think about the good times. Smile because It happen and dont cry because it’s over. And Im pretty sure That person have laugh at least 300 times++++ in these 11 years. Dont give up your hope. If things have been bad for a long time and you feel like this is the bottom line, it can onl be better from now on. And I dont mean over the night but maybe in six months or a year! The only thing you gotta do is to stand on your feet and say to yourself “Im gonna make it” And then Im pretty sure you’ll make it.

I lost:

1. someone who meant everything to me (dead)

2. a very special person to me (left me)

3. my ex bestfriend (left me)

4. someone important (dead)

5. half of my family (left me)

but look, even though I planed to kill myself and have try it. Im on earth and alive. I dont like that I am, but I believe it’s gonna get better!