Can I truly blame him for keeping me here? Isn’t it my own cowardice and fear of the unknown that plays a larger role? Would I be able to kill myself if he were never born? He gives me hope, something to do, someone to love and support. But he’s my brother; that’s his life. I need to my own life to be able to truly go on living.
I’ve already decided that I don’t want to be human anymore, that I’d rather be nothing. But I can’t be nothing just yet because he’s 11 and there’s no other adult around him that’s as rational as I am (despite the suicidal tendencies).
I kill myself and he’d be the one affected most. We’re thick as thieves and I teach him as much as I can but I don’t think he’d understand why I’m gone. He might blame himself..
1 comment
I think it show strength, that you are putting your brother before yourself this much.
To think of your brother because h needs you, everything you say is true, If you died, it would be very ahrd on him.
I had a friend once whose mother hung herself, he became so different, We weren’t close bu i could tell he was in pain, we were only what 12-13 then so i didn’t know what to do, but i think that thanks to people like you who took care of him even if it was a burden, he started to feel better.
Where do you live, and what about the rest of your family where are they?
Oh and, don’t kill yourself, you sound strong, I’ve suicidial thoughts too, and i have little stopping me, but you atleast can find some stregth in your brother.
I forgot the most important thing, Why are you feeling this bad?