i tried and i failed..but i’m still winning!

i didn’t sleep last night.
i could hardly breathe. (right. or at all.)
my sister is upstairs.
my mother hardly down the hall.
who would have found me..?

it’s hard to get back on your feet..
once you fall.
and i thought i was losing the fight..
to “break on through to the otherside”.!

and i’m sitting in school now.
what wonders Drugs can do to help someone survive.
(at least through a night)
they were intended to be an aide.
the method i used to try and take my life.
pills and alcohol..
they don’t mix well..

but i somehow broke the spell..
(still feeliing high as hell
although i’m down so low..)
but since i survived..
might as well enjoy the fact..
at least, while i can still garb on to that last bit of rope..
(please do not give me false hope..)

i do feel bad though.. which is quizzical.
it’s even worse of a feeling when you do not succeed.
what you had to do.. mind.. body..
and did something selfish before
you could even get such an opporunity, to do said selfish act..

i wish i knew why i felt bad..
maybe because i failed..
that would at the very least..
be a logical explaination..

awh. thanks.
wish i did OD though.

cause i’m REALLY not looking forward to the crash. haha.
gonna be super burnt out.