Well… Latly I’ve been extreamly deprest… My parents think I’m always on drugs.. so I’ve been grounded for three mouths. When the truth is I’ve been clean for about six… But they dont belive me.. Ane when ever I ask them when I can go out and do stuff again.. they ground me longer. So I havent asked in a mouth. But I moved back here to be with my friends.. and when I can see them… Everyday. Suicide is the first thing that pops into my mind.. thats all I think about anymore.. When I’m gonna do it, how I’m gonna do it. Where I’m gonna do it. I’ve talked to those friends i love and hold so dear about it.. but when i do… all they do is say, you really arent gonna do it. Or kenzie.. Shut up.. like dont even go there.. then they change the subject to there problems.. and they cut. Granted I have too… but thats not the point… its the fact I’m always there for them.. just today one of there boyfriends broke up witht them.. but I was there.. When mine dumpt me.. they didnt care.. they told me to get over it.. When there parents yelled at them and they stormed out.. i was there for them.. When mine kicked me out.. they said they said sorry and went to bed.. When they cut, I was the one who helped them hid it, and help them heel.. When i said i wanted to die… They turned away… and didnt care… I guess i dont either.. I know if I was to die tomarrow.. they wouldnt shed a tear.. It didnt always use to belike this.. we use to be so perect all three of us… no one turned away anyone… but now were growing up.. they just dont care about me… I guess why should anyone… Im nothing. I know what I am now.
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3 comments
Empathy,
Their inability to relate to your situation and the fact that they think you can just brush away your feelings of emptiness by throwing a smile on your face is pathetic. As you grow you will find close friends and family will become distant from you… BUT that is your chance to explore new experiences for yourself. Just hold on and if you think of anything you want to do when the time comes DO IT!
I will tell you mine is close (and way over do) and do you know what I want to do??? I want to go to work get off whenever my shift ends and go to a close bar and just order a rum and coke and relax and that’s what I am going to do. No more, Wife is in control of everything, No more horrible parents, and no more empty friends.
Find what you want…. I bet it will be awesome!
I can relate to that.my friends act the same way they refuse to talk about how ifeel but wen they hav a problem they expect me to com running and help. And that can make u feel worthless
ironmiserie3 It’s not that eassy… Now MY friend is saying shes gonna kill herself.. (the one who got dumpt) and I’m there for here.. i sneak out every night just so she dosnt do it… she says im the best friend she’s ever had.. but why can she return the favor…
Emilse
See you get it… I makes you feel like fucking shit! like wow I really must be nothing…