October 21st, 2011 by Its just a word till you do it

Well… Latly I’ve been extreamly deprest… My parents think I’m always on drugs.. so I’ve been grounded for three mouths. When the truth is I’ve been clean for about six… But they dont belive me.. Ane when ever I ask them when I can go out and do stuff again.. they ground me longer. So I havent asked in a mouth. But I moved back here to be with my friends.. and when I can see them… Everyday. Suicide is the first thing that pops into my mind.. thats all I think about anymore.. When I’m gonna do it, how I’m gonna do it. Where I’m gonna do it. I’ve talked to those friends i love and hold so dear about it.. but when i do… all they do is say, you really arent gonna do it. Or kenzie.. Shut up.. like dont even go there.. then they change the subject to there problems.. and they cut. Granted I have too… but thats not the point… its the fact I’m always there for them.. just today one of there boyfriends broke up witht them.. but I was there.. When mine dumpt me.. they didnt care.. they told me to get over it.. When there parents yelled at them and they stormed out.. i was there for them.. When mine kicked me out.. they said they said sorry and went to bed.. When they cut, I was the one who helped them hid it, and help them heel.. When i said i wanted to die… They turned away… and didnt care… I guess i dont either.. I know if I was to die tomarrow.. they wouldnt shed a tear.. It didnt always use to belike this.. we use to be so perect all three of us… no one turned away anyone… but now were growing up.. they just dont care about me… I guess why should anyone… Im nothing. I know what I am now.

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