ok so i joined this site cuz I think i’ve reached my breaking point and i just wish someone or anything can help me because i dont think i can take this anymore.. Im 18 years old and since i can remember ive pretty much hated myself.. I started cutting when I was 12 and have been doing it on and off since(wow i didnt realize its been so long since i just typed that smh)..I honestly dont feel alive..I go day to day as a zombie just waiting for the day to finish..when i get something thats good in my life i feel happy for a bit then feel like i dont deserve it and its back to depression…at night before i sleep i pray that i never have to wake up and then the next morning im filled with sadness because im still here… Ive written suicide notes and contemplate it every day honestly the only reason why i havent done it is because thought of hurting my family is soo hard. but lately i dont know if thats enough to stop me.. I feel numb, my heart isnt in anything anymore and my mind is all over the place… i try to talk to friends but they dont get it..just think its something temporary and by 2morrow i’ll be fine.. little do they know i feel like this everyday. im tired of faking smiles and pretending im ok..I feel like a waste, so hopeless and i dont deserve to be here. I wish so hard for this pain to go away but it never does.
all this escalated when the guy i was absolutely in love with died 3 months ago.. that was the icing to the cake. i just really dont want to live on anymore… why doesnt it justend :[
3 comments
I can imagine what’s like to be depressed, but maybe not as you. Anyway I try to find something that won’t just go away, something that makes me happy and that I know will always be there. Also, don’t care for what the others think or will say, if I’m depressed, I would do something just because it makes me feel better. Hope it helps
My sister hung herself when she was only 18. At the time i was only 9 yrs old. I am 13 now and i miss her like crazy.It only took one person to kill my sister. She met a guy and she fell in love with him and all of a sudden he broke up with her. I know it sounds dumb to kill yourself over a boy but she was also being made fun of at school. Please dont make the same mistake as she did. I have to live with it everyday of my life no one wants to have to deal with that everyday. I even got made fun of for it. We love you and always will:0 i hope this touches your heart and helps you make the right decision.
wow…thanks for sharing that with me ,you’re strong and i’m gonna try and find someway to deal with all this before i explode :[….thanks for the both advice guys