Sorry I haven’t posted. I’ve been on Amber’s (life sucks thin you die) Facebook group.

anyways, it was right under my nose that Dr. dolittle was blackqwert as I just found out.

I have been drinking cream soda almost every day, trying to stay sane and happy. (very exhausting) The cream sodas effects on me are wearing down (enjoyment and whatever happens in my brain to elevate my mood).

Well so far, I’ve been failing half my classes. Not doing homework, unable to concentrate. The idea that the end is near makes me feel at ease to be failing. But it still stresses me. I still desire death even though I haven’t done much to desire it. I may have split personality disorder or I’m just paranoid because I have some symptoms of just about a hundred disorders or whatever. I want to get checked but I probably wouldn’t give them the right answers and trick them into believing that I do. Like in the movie of the crucible, the girls kept getting images of spirits n shit n actually thinking they see it. I can brainwash myself into believing I hear voices. I believe I do on occasion but not recently. Doesn’t mean Rogue isn’t there though.

My uncle fucked up real bad. He socked up the manager or owner of the apartment complex and we’re getting kicked out most likely. My weekends may be officially ruined. All because the manager told him to fuck off. A week or 2 ago he socked up another foo’ for saying fuck yo’ mama, cuz he was acting tough. A few days ago, he almost kicked the ass of a guy saying chingate (fuck you). My mom said he needs fucking anger management. Idk he explained he acted on impulse. He said he talked to a homie bout how he wasn’t thinking about the family so he fucked up badly.

Right now he’s talking to this girl from the Internet who lives the next town over. Hes talking dirty to her at this moment on my phone.

There’s these new roomates of ours over here that has 5 kids. There’s two that are my points of interest. One is 11 and the other 13. They are sisters and the youngest is cute as fuck. Shes really thin, has glasses, but I’m five years older. I wished for a while to meet a girl living under the same roof that was cute and my age. Either a stepsister or a roomate. Too bad it never works fine. The other girl is 13 closer to my age but not as cute. I don’t know their names, but I don’t really give a fuck cuz I ain’t gonna do shit. So far we actually talk between me and 13 year old. She’s cool, laughs at my dumb jokes, sometimes. Too bad I don’t have many jokes and we don’t exactly talk, every time I see those girls I hide my stare and shyly glance at them to see who it is. Damn I spent more time speaking about them than anything else

Well this is as far as I got to. Hope shit works out and I end up in a coffin or too drugged up to realize I’m not dead jk. Not a good joke you say. Well kiss my ass. Any 16 year old girls near Cali hum… Jk I’m not gonna advertise my loneliness to people on the Internet. Unless I wanna go to muzzy again. Look up RogueShadow1281 on google, there’s a lotta shit on me…