When? As soon as possible.
Why? Because life is pointless. I’ve lived for almost nineteen years with nothing to show but suffering and there is no point to continue such misery if there is another option.
Where? Anywhere, really, depending on my chosen “how.”
What? Death.
I will save you the long sob story, and I will save you the trouble of responding to “help” me. I don’t want or need help, and you should not waste your time because it will not work.
I’m completely content and at peace with the decision to end my life but I will allow no failure; therefore, I am still searching for the best way in which to do so.
To most people, I do not seem depressed. To most people, my life isn’t very bad.
But everything about my life is and has been wretched. Anyone who had to live it would agree. Looking at it from the outside in does not suffice. No one has the right to tell me I’m overreacting, but because no one knows of my plan, no one has. I really would like to find the most suitable way that I will succeed with.
I know two people from my high school who committed suicide by hanging. I cannot fathom how they did it and succeeded because it seems so complicated to do right.
If there is any help I need it’s in choosing how to go about this- other than not going about it at all.
8 comments
guess we’re the same age. I’m not here to talk you out of it, just here to share that i get it. From the outside view people would think nothing is wrong, i seem happy, guess i’m just that good at acting-since it always was a dream of mine, one in which has never came true. Even my own mom tells me to look at how blessed i am, and that things could be so much worse. Well, for me things seem pretty damn bad. I’ve dealt with more things than even my family knows about. Its hard to keep it all in, but i’m tired of hearing how things could be worse. and i HATE being told i’m overreacting, i’m not. The amount of pain we can all take varies, and for me its reached its peak. i’m not set on killing myself, i don’t think i ever could, which bothers me more than anything, because sitting and wallowing in my own self pity and pain is getting me no where.
If you are, indeed, feeling the intense pain, unhappiness, and depression that I am feeling (and have felt for such a long time), I truly hope you can find a way out. I hope that this is only a temporary situation for you and your life will improve so that you can be happy; and I hope that if it isn’t and it doesn’t, you can find the strength to end it peacefully like I have. I do not think wishing death upon anyone is “morally correct” but knowing my life, my feelings and my experiences, has led me to at least understand if you did ever reach that solution.
Some people are blessed with easier lives, higher tolerances, etc.
I’ve always been known to be a strong girl, but when every single thing in life has gone against you and living each day is only hurting you more, it is reasonable to eventually show weakness. No one can be as tough as a diamond and my cracks have given way to the crumbling.
As soon as I finish my research, I will just smash it all to pieces.
Lost- until then, I am willing to be here for you if you need someone. It’s not much of an offer when you’re in such a dark abyss but I actually am quite good at helping others even though there is no help for me.
There are methods available on the Net, if you need to hunt for information. If you want, contact me and I can provide the links (if you look at your post in your profile you’ll see the email addresses of those who commented). I honestly don’t prefer hanging myself… but that’s just me. The availability of methods really depends on where you live.
Yes, I’ve been researching for quite a while. That’s one more reason I know I’m sure about this and no one’s opinion or statements can affect me. I know the only 100% fool-proof ways will be VERY difficult to plan and put into effect; and that’s what is angering me so much. The exit bag, the poison gas, the toxins, etc. I will be E-mailing shortly. Thankyou.
I need to let you know that there IS no 100% foolproof method. There are certainly methods that have a very high probability of getting you killed (more than 90%), but from what I’ve found, nothing is really 100%. Just like how all drugs and medications have possible side-effects. I’ve been planning for quite a while myself, so I know.
Just to let you know, I’m off to lunch now but I should be back in around 30 minutes or so. Definitely will be replying (to here, as well as to my email).
That is true. I figured ******** (or the like) was seemingly the easiest way. However, I cannot make that trip to a foreign country. I’m going to E-mail you for further discussion of some of the ways. I have seen some of your posts while researching and viewing the board (before I joined) and although I’m not sure of how long you’ve been planning and how much longer it will be before you go through with your plan, I wish you success in your endeavors.
I actually don’t recommend OD-ing, since the chance of failure is higher than most. Of course, choice of methods depends on a lot of factors. We’ll continue this discussion over email. Thank you and I hope you will achieve what you wish too.