Wakeless Days and Sleepless Nights

I haven’t slept without substance (ab)use in almost two weeks now. And trying to buck the trend tonight isn’t easy. I got high this morning once I decided school wasn’t gonna happen, but it feels like I need something to sleep now. Maybe a shot, maybe a smoke, something. I hate this. It’s always the worst. Laying in bed with nothing to do besides think of how much I hate my life and myself. I just want to sleep without medication, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s possible for me anymore.