The thing that REALLY keeps me from doing it is that I’m too scared. I just think about it is all. I think the least painful, but scariest death is to jump off a bridge. But my mangled remains would be too gruesome, I’d like a neater death than that. I think about hanging myself, but I don’t want to have bulgy eyes and blue face. I think about slitting my wrists, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose blood slowly and and freak out as it’s happening- I’ve given blood before, and I hate the feeling of blood leaving my body and make me freak out. So far it’s my best option, I passed out when I gave blood. Maybe if I slit my wrists, I’ll pass out and die and it won’t be so bad.
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What has happened to make you feel this way?
I’ve been in the same boat as you, in reality I very much still am. I’ve thought all the same thoughts you listed and more on top.
It’s hard to talk about methods, because as a person outside of your predicament, the natural thought is to want to steer you away from these things. But that is not reality. If you are going to do it, you will, and if not, you won’t. The fact that you are scared is a good thing, though. The times i have come closest to ending things is when the fear starts to waver. I think most people start to lose the fear near the end, so there is still hope in your heart deep down, and that’s why i ask what is making you feel this way.
Financial problems and the fact that I don’t want to be a wage slave for the rest of my life. I have a husband, and it seems like we have marriage issues that we have never been able to resolve. We kind of changed after we got married and as time went on. I don’t think divorce is the answer, but he’s hinted so a few times. We do love each other, just we don’t see eye-to-eye sometimes. We don’t fight productively. I hear marriage counseling makes it worse. Not too long ago, I wanted to purchase a will. Last week, I almost took the step to kill myself, but I got checked into a hospital. Nothing significant has changed since last time I posted, I just have depression that hasn’t been treated, haven’t seen my counselor, and I’ve been having a bad, bad week.
don’t take any of those routes, please. please will you talk to me about why you want to die? my username is my email address.
you’re not alive just to die, life has a purpose
With loss of blood comes low body temperature. You would be very cold before passing, painfully so.
Oh also, gleaning from the comments of another poster, it occurs to me that “cutting one’s self” has a low success rate coupled with a substantial amount of agony. Additionally it requires a tremendous amount of time to complete in that manner.
Where does this come from? You didn’t seem to be quite at this low point when you last posted.
Marriage counselling is different, with each therapist. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but I find it unlikely that it would make things worse. Given that you and you husband ‘don’t see eye to eye’, sounds like an objective, external opinion might be just what you need – thing is, you both have to go into the councilling WANTING to fix things. If you resist treatment, you won’t get treated, simple as that.
Sorry your week has been bad. Maybe you need a bit of a break, but don’t put off talking to that councillor for too long.