wonders of the world

The pain i feel is unbarable. the person i loved cheated on me with one of my teammates. they are now together and they rub their relationship in my face. i thought one was a friend and the other my love. i was wrong. I hate going to practice seeing their relationship. they have no regard of my feelings. I would quit, but i love the game to much and i love my teammates. however, all of this has pushed me back into my hole. I wanted to marry this person but instead im now thinking about what is wrong with me? why is it that when i meet someone they fuck me over. I have been hurt so many times. Im tired of feeling this pain of worthlessness. I feel like i will never be good enough for someone else. I’ve been having recurring thoughts of suicide and wanting to end my life. I just feel like nothig will change. nothing has changed for the past 8 years. what is the point of continuing life when i know it will just be the same.same feelings, same emotions. what is the point?