Best or worst year…

I am currently at 15 and I remember two weeks ago holding on to my pills didnt want to feel again but my two closest friends helped me not to do it .. My depression pills seemed to help the first week but lately they seemed to make things more worser I started to, cutt myself about a month ago.. I care about my friends and a little bit of my family more than myself I dont really care anymore if I fail or I annoy ppl I get sad in a instant I turn happy to sad very swiftly im about sad three times each week now .. Then the good stuff comes along I fall in love.. But bad thing im bisexual and have to hide it from my family … Good thing ive been doing stuff with him … Bad thing I will never be accepted in society… My bestfriend or not anymore we never told lie to each other I didnt but she did then we werent friends then she got drunk at school twice wtf I told her some bad stuff ..after she was sober we hugged and told her you know I love you just dont do stupid bs like that again were friends again.. So my head tells me all this negative stuff to me and it gets me sad or have emotional breakdowns .. I usually cry in class 1 or 2 times a week .. I just want to help not hurt or make ppl happy or laugh…