My name is Bree , I’m 16 years old & i have 3 sisters & 4 brothers& iv’e been through things i would have never imagined . On January 11 , 2008 i lost my dad to suicide , i never experienced true pain  til i lost my dad . He was everything to me , i never left his side & i never thought he would leave mine . He was my hero the only one i know that would do anything just to keep a smile on my face , i miss him oh so much . After that the unthinkable happened on October 15 , 2011 i lost on of my big brothers to suicide also , both he & my dad had shot themselves . Every since then i lost hope on everything . I stopped sleeping & going to school , i have no motivation to go on anymore . Now all i can do is hope that one day something good will come into my life & help heal this hole i have inside .
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11 comments
It may not make any difference, but I know how you feel, the closest person I’ve ever had to a father killed himself. And my oldest brother died, not from suicide, but he’s still gone. They both happened years ago, but every time I think about either of them I cant stop crying.
im sorry for you loss , & i know one day we will be able to look back think about them & smile .
That is tragic. You HAVE to break this cycle, you still have 3 sisters and 3 brothers you can’t leave. Help each other.
i would like for my brothers & sisters & me to try to help get through it together but we are all separated , its so complicated & none of them like to talk they keep everything bottled up inside even my mom . i feel like im on my own so i try & get all the help i can get for myself , im in a grief & loss group at my highschool & i just started posting on this . Thank you for listening .
I agree with one_day. Help each other out and break out of the cycles. See if your family can see a therapist to help you guys deal with the loss.
i hope one day as a family we could see a therapist together but none of them like talking they just keep everything inside . thank you for listening .
That’s so sad.Do you feel angry about it or what
in the begin i was because before my dad killed himself i didnt get to say bye & we were in a fight , i went through the stage where all i did was blame myself & i couldnt help but feel guilty but that was a couple years ago now im learning to forgive but never forget . But with my brother’s suicide i didnt go through that cause i understood how much he couldnt live without my dad , im just so sad he did it .
I know what it’s like to be the one sensitive person within a family full of emotional retards who keep everything bottled up inside. That’s the way they are and they’re probably not going to want to start talking any time soon, so don’t bother pushing them. Maybe you should go to therapy on your own?
ive recently had an emotional breakdown last friday i got to the point where i actually told my coucler i didnt wanna live anymore , she called a crisis team & they evaluated me & gave my mom resources to get me therapy & it would be free cause i have insurence but my mom hasnt called get . but i really want to do therapy & im going in for visits to a doctor about gettting anit-depression pills .
Maybe you can ask your councillor to talk to your mother about getting you into therapy. Or maybe you can just call and set it up yourself? I used to do that when I was a kid because my mum never let me do anything, so I would just organise things myself and tell her later when I needed her to drive me.