Ever wonder where is the place i belong to ?

November 4th, 2011by goldsaint

its exactly the sentence i wrote on google to ”find” a potential answer to this existential question of mine.

and i found you all, red the stories very seriously and it touched my heart…


I am and always had been enjoying life with simple things like a walk in a park, eating at a good restaurant, going out with a girl i like etc.

But it seems i wasn’t part of my time because my friends and all my entourage were just ”ahead” of their time trying to accelerate their degree of evolution physically and mentally ; in one word, beeing adult before becoming an adult, like losing innocence at a very young age.

And unfortunately for them, i was representing this obstacle as i was still young and innocent, never trying to act like a serious adult.

It kinda reminded me this part of the song of this band called DMC – It’s like that (and that’s the way it is) where they say : i’d rather stay young go out and play” than go to clubs, smoking and drinking and having sex with complete strangers where no love is involved…Just for the sake of showing off to everybody that, Yes ! i am an amazing dude !

Well, am not like that, i am my true self and i act the way i like with people i like. This has led me to become lonely, because nobody could ever understand my points of view about things and life in general: why stress ? why work for big corporations ? why make 100K a year ? couldnt we all be happy with less quantity and start to appreciate real quality of life ? why does this world has become the devil’s playground where every boring day the medias remind you that you need to be perfect, to think this way or this other way, to prevent violence where after this kind of speech they make you watch ”reality shows”, Mtv’s and other BS.

Wherever i went to escape my daily routine, despite it was in NY, Miami, Paris or Israel, i could never find the peace again, the peace i was holding when i was innocent. Why did i become the slave of this non-wanted ”system” ?

Call it capitalism, communism, nazism or whatever you like. My thoughts are perfectly clear about our world : its a mix of all previous world wars system of thoughts that America itself fought against and inevitably absorbed. Then the new system itself copy/paste to other countries which once hold their own inherent cultures, etc.

Every countries is now the same.. besides deserts and tropical forest there’s no where to hide from this tragedy..

And thats where i was touched by all your comments, because i felt people with amazing hearts and minds had tried to fight against ”it” (where i can still not define what ”it” really is, and joke aside, certainly not the clown from the movie ”it” 😉

But seriously, i was touched because people like you, like me have made the same calculation : it will be in death that we’ll be born once again for eternity. Death itself would be the new era, the new peak of our ”real” life awaiting us somewhere in a different world where everything fits in

But after much reflection, yes we might have an empire of our own somewhere in another dimension, or another world, but if we have been brought here its for a reason, and that reason is to FIGHT, to SHOW that PERFECTION is a crime against humanity itself, because its our imperfection that makes us humans and who really are !

All these peeple working for big corporation like Dior, Chanel etc are the new nazis, the one’s that bring forth the destruction of the human race because we fool ourselves that we should act this way, be this way etc, where in fact, the way we used to be held an invaluable price!

i tell you this my fellows, i am a very good looking 27 year old boy, i could be the top at everythin and i could lie and kill to achieve my goals. i could have millions of woman if i ever want, i could benefit from all the pleasures this world has to offer….BUT this wouldn’t be me at all.

i am what i am, and i will show them that I AM and i exist in their ”perfect system” just to unbalance their stupid equation.

Keep the faith about yourself, don’t let them win by commiting self destruction ! never forget that the nazis wanted to clean imperfect people (all the sick, the mentally impaired, the different races etc) from their ”perfect system”. And it seems that ironically History has proven that the imperfects were the one to survive.

Unbalance the system ! Fight !


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