I want to kill my self, i have a girlfriend she doesn’t know about any of this, i play basketball, but school is to much i have bad grades I’m trying my hardest but i can’t do it its impossible. i got tested for ADD and ADHD and didn’t have it. my mom is an emotional wreck and my step dad expects to much of me I’m 15, what the fuck do expect me to do. fuck school why even go teachers just talk for 7 hours and give you assignments that no one gives a fuck about, about stupid as shit. my “friends” joke around with me and will be like” hey whats up short stuff” i was 5’3″ last year I’m 5’8″ now and I’m taller then them and they call me short, its not funny anymore you *****… why don’t you shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my face. then they joke “your such a loser..haha kidding” oh your “kidding” then why fucking say that if your “just kidding” yeah i know you mean it, your real funny you should be a fucking comedian. fucking asshole… i worked my ass off this summer for basketball but when ever i worked hard and played against people from my school and i would try my hardest they would be like “why do you take basketball so seriously its just a game, you have no life all you do is play basketball” I take basketball so seriously because its the only thing and I’m good at! i have no life, i have a life its called basketball! all you do is smoke weed and drink.. yeah your so hardcore and cool seriously no one cares how fucking drunk and high you got last weekend. i have a low self esteem and people just like to make your bad day worse… i used to have anger management but now I’m fine and now if anything happens and if i look even the slightest mad people are like “WOAH THERE calm down” telling me to calm down when I’m already calm makes me want to beat the shit out of you you little ***** i will knock you the fuck out. It would be so much easier to just kill my self i wouldn’t have to deal with anything, I’m going to do it.
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hey, i feel like that sometime, it’s really hard, i am 37 and often feel like ending it…I would suggest, as someone who has been very tempted even today but feels somewhat better now, please don’t, please go and just do something fun for yourself, something you like to do…like for me i am going to mcdonalds cuz nothing else is open and then maybe organize my closet cuz ij’ts bugging me…and just so you know that i know what i am talking about, i have been divorced, bankcrupt, just broke up with my latest spouse of 4 years in september, got fired in Oct, got a new job but it’s really lonely and all night work which is why i am here at 4:13 aM…You know the one thing that often helps me is Dr Burns’ book, Feeling Good, highly recommended, and talkling to some kind of counsellor could help…just don’t do it yet, hell if you’re gonna kill yourself, why not put it off til you can do something fun first?
If you have basketball as an outlet use it as an outlet. Most people don’t have any way to express themselves if you focus on basketball you’ll at least have something to keep you mind off things.
I am using basketball as an outlet, but my grades are bad and i can’t play and its got me really depressed. basketball is all i have if i can’t play basketball then theres no point in living.
Then pay more attention to your grades so you can keep playing. If I were you I’d use basketball as therapy. If you have to get better grades get better grades. Its easier said than done I know but you can’t quit life because being a teen is tough.
yeah, I’m just stupid. i know this, I’ve been told it many times.
well it sounds more like ADD, I had a lot of trouble with math and i stopped caring and trying because it was hard and boring. But to be honest, i really could have tried harder, i just didn’t believe it was possible. Now I have overcome some things and I know that if you can somehow get interested in it, you can learn, even if you have to go back and start with easiest basics. You are in a good way because you still have time to fix things, pull up your grades and do what you want. When i was in high school i didn’t know how to improve or fix things, now i know that you can do anything if you break it down into small pieces, and make up your mind to find it useful or interesting. You may need a tutor but I don’t believe you are stupid, you are obviously smart and also talented at basketball which is great, i agree with kno1, enjoy it but spend some time on your school as well. I have been there and god if i could re-do high school i would!!! I am re-learning stuff now just to “overcome” it. As my stubborn granmother said once when she was untangling a huge knot of yarn, “I refuse to be beaten by yarn!” You need to refuse to be beaten by idiots and school. Good luck, you can do it. Again go get yourself that book, Feeling Good by Dr Burns. You probably have depression or ADD or somethignk, they are all related….
and thanks for posting because saying this is reminding me of stuff and making me feel better, so thank you.
People told Einstein he was stupid too…
“worked my ass off this summer for basketball but when ever i worked hard and played against people from my school and i would try my hardest they would be like “why do you take basketball so seriously its just a game, you have no life all you do is play basketball†I take basketball so seriously because its the only thing and I’m good at! i have no life, i have a life its called basketball!”
I can tell you with near-absolute certainty that they are jealous of you; your school mates at least. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with working hard at something, putting all your energy into something that you believe in. Fuck them!@ Keep playing, find a community centre and play there. You’re sure to find a ton of other like minded teens who love to just play, who put everything into it.
You sound like you know what you’re doing so that’s all I really have to say. Just do you man because from the sound of it, you’re doing very well. Work on the grades because they’re more important than you think. Once school is over and you’re out in the real world, all that matters is diplomas and experience. If you don’t have experience, you damn well better have a shiny diploma or two.
From the language it sounds like you still have an anger issue.
If others are telling you to calm down, ………. they are seeing something you aren’t.
Just because your not angry at what You consider angry doesn’t mean that others can’t see that your about to pop a cork.
Just because you weren’t diagnosed with ADD/ADHD does not mean that you aren’t, Dr.’s miss diagnos all the time.
Great you like basketball, its a place where aggression is accepted and or expected.
Thats not the way society is.
you know y’all are all right. I’ma do me and let people do them, keep practicing, work hard in school and one day you’ll see me playing basketball at a Division 1 school. thanks.