I tell you I don’t want to live anymore and what do you say? “I just can’t do it anymore.” Do what?! Put up with me?! If that’s the case then just give me a gun because I am out of options. I’m unhappy everywhere I live so why should I even try? Why don’t I just end it all now? Of course, you don’t care. You couldn’t care less about me.
You say that you think I like being unhappy. ..What? Are you fucking joking. Yes, I LOVE being unhappy all the time. It tickles me fucking pink thinking about dying 24/7 and not feeling good enough to be on the Earth. Not even wanting to be on this Earth. Do you even hear yourself? You disgust me so much. Then you’re shocked when I say being put in a foster home doesn’t sound like a bad option. What did you expect me to say? “No I’d rather live here with people who think I’m intentionally making myself unhappy. Live with people who don’t give a damn about what I’m feeling.” No. I want to make this work, but you’re making it hard. I’ve told people about what you’ve said, and they think it’s ridiculous that you would say such things. So how come you think it’s okay? Because you’re dumb as fuck. You and your husband think you’re so much better than everybody and no one can mess up your “perfect” life. “The kids are affected by you.” Oh, I’m sorry, and I supposed to hide my depression? If I could, we wouldn’t be discussing it. How fucking selfish of you to tell me not to be sad! Am I not supposed to show feelings here? My Grandma died, the woman who raised me all of my life, and your telling me not to be sad? How about your fucking mother die and then have someone tell you not to be sad. See how that works out. You make me so sick living with you. The truth is, you took me in because you wanted to be the fucking hero, and when you found out it’s hard taking care of me, you blame it on me. That’s right, blame everything on the suicidal 16 year old. Way to be an adult. Do the world a favor and shove a gun to your head. I’ll pull the trigger.
11 comments
Ranting ? or do you think or know they read this ? Just curious.
Just ranting. I had a bad talk with this person last night and I needed to let my anger out.
Awesome.
Good place to dump isn’t it, ……
I am on this site almost all night, CST, I get lonely when no one is up.
Responding to posts (if I can relate) is all I have left, I don’t know what else to do.
I am suicidal, I feel I really have no choices left,……… yet there are always choices.
At 51, I read so many posts from young people here and want to help.
I think all humans (except for psychopaths) have that built in desire to help others.
I can relate to you so much. I feel like I have no choices left, but I have a strong desire to help others. I’d hate for someone to commit suicide yet I don’t think it’s bad. Thank you for commenting on my post. It makes me feel like someone on this Eartha actually cares about what I have to say. You’re a really great person.
People should realize that kids are not easy.
And that a whole lot of love and undersanding is needed for some children.
And if one chooses to be a parent that is what comes with the job.
Like the whole sotry of the prodigal son coming home and the father doing special things for him. The mature son was jealous but the father told him that his progdigal brother NEEDED that extra attention and that the mature one did not. And the father was happy that the prodigal child made it back home.
I just hope someone gives you the breadth of care and affection you deserve one day soon.
I know you’re just ranting, but I hope later maybe you can consider your foster parents just don’t know how to deal. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, but it does mean they sometimes say things that sound terrible. It doesn’t mean they deserve to die, either.
Certain parents and certain kids are just not a good match sometimes, foster or not. But thems the breaks.
I know. I was just so angry at the moment. I still am, but hopefully one day we’ll be able to put this mess behind us and go back to a normal family. It’s my Aunt, by the way. I thought that would make it easier to get along with her, but it didn’t. I’m moving in with my older sister now. I just need a break from her. I would never wish death upon my family. I was just angry.
dont eat sulfur cakes thats bad. just realize life is a place where the horrors are obvious
Thats fair enough. I had a similar experience living with my aunt, that only lasted 2 weeks before I left. A good rant does wonders every now and then. I’m sure things will get better with a little distance.
Yes, it does. I hope we get better. We used to be really close, but living with her was just too difficult.