What to say reallly i think about suicide nearly everyday… i was born to a 14 year old girl lost in the world my sperm doner beat me till he finally got sent to jail for killing a person….. i grew up lost in the world with no father till the age of 6….. my mother married a military guy things didnt change much my mom was getting abused and i was witnessing it all…. as i grow up people tell me im smart but when i make a mistake they tear me down like im worthless..ive never found a person who could say i know u going to do something in your life… ive been told u are going to fail out of school u are going to become a bum…. i grow up barely pass ea year making 70s in classes for the year but making 90plus on the taks teachers gets my scores and say why can u do this hear but your lucky to be passing my class… i move on to the 9th grade finally the end of the year i go on a small vaction and nearly kill my cousin bcuz i cant control my anger… i find out i have anger problems start taking classes for that.. now to find out 2 months ago that i might be ADD ADHD Bi polar disorder and have insomnia… insomnia i already knew i get 2-4 hrs sleep a night i get a new girl friend a week later i love her shes the only one thats seems to accept me for me… but im use to not having someone love me i cnat tell he diff form pitty and love anymore i want to die everyday i come close to it over and over again im scared and dont know what to do anymore im lost and confused…. help if u can
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If your angry, good. If your confused, beat the hell out of somebody, but don’t kill. Its for the pleasure. Unleash your anger, learn what you did soft. I myself have been suicidal for too long, but am now am back from asylum. im on strict control. as soon as im uncuffed, maybe never, im gonna be the American Psycho. I’ve lived such a fucked up life which had been a lie from the beginning. I have become something i wouldn’t have foreseen years earlier. You are what you are destined to be. If you are lucky, you hold your fate. Be smart.
@Deadreality You are definitely crazy and no one should ever take your advice. @Ruben You really need a therapist to talk about these problems with if you don’t have one. Go to your councilors and stuff whenever you have these feelings. That’s what they’re there for. Set a bed time schedule. . . lack of sleep causes cognitive dysfunction. You’re still growing up and you need it as bad as anyone.
@Wallytheotter, Well the truth speaks for itself. Whats the point of living if you don’t want to. Having a therapist is as fake as you on this website trying to help others. Are you a doctor. NO YOU FUCKING AREN’T. yOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF OUR PROBLEMS. My life has been a disaster, nobody has every helped, will you be the first one, i don’t think so.
I agree with Wally here, deadreality you should be what you are destined to be but NEVER at the expense of harming others. It’s your fucked up circumstances that made you this way, not destiny.
ADHD is treatable. So is anger. You just gotta find a good way to channel it. Lots of ADHD people are intelligent and the anger might be a side effect of your brain not being challenged enough, so you get bored at school. Keep going to your classes and take good care of your GF, she wouldn’t be with you if it was ONLY out of pity. Girls don’t work that way.
@deadreality it doesn’t take a doctor to see that beating someone up isn’t a good way to feel better about yourself.
I’ve had your problems for a very long period of time. I’ve also written articles on depression and suicide. . . so I do know quite a bit about it. You’re right though. I’m not a doctor. But if you think your advice to beat the hell out of someone because your confused is good advice than you’re psycho as hell. That’s sadistic, and it’s wrong. I would love to help you, but you don’t seem to want it.
@one_day. I see Dr. you are quite intelligent and sound like you know nothing.ha…ha. no. Truth is Reuben, you have to relax and do nothing in a day. See what it feels like. I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I am failure in life because of my academics. Well i didn’t give a two shit about what the “other” people say. You have a GF, does she pity, only you know. None of these people can read your mind. My life is over. But for you, your looking for help, so learn to love yourself.
@wallytheotter. I do have issues. Its too late for me to get help. i cryed every night seeking to get help, i never did, what do you expect now. I am sick in the head, not normal by any means. Happiness, is a long lost term in my body, maybe not even in there. i can’t even attempt to suicide because of the lockdown im in. i ask myself everynight, am i lucky to be alive. because i feel unlucky to be so. im bi polar as well, but to the extreme extent. im a sad individual. love was lost. then no love was ever gained.
@deadreality. I’m sorry your circumstances sound shit. But if it’s so terrible for you, then why would you try to advise other people to do the same things that landed you in this mess?
@one_day. Your right, 100% right, very fucking right. Seriously, you just made a good point stranger. I’m just alone at the end of the day. Theres only one person i share all my information with, its a bimbo who totally understands me. sadly, we both live a fucked up life. im waiting for the puzzle to be solved.
@deadreality – wait, confused, who’s the bimbo? You calling me a bimbo or someone in your life you’re talking to? Anyway, I think if you’re alone, it’s because you choose to be. You want to engage in anitsocial behaviour like hating society or beating people up? Isn’t that because YOU made a decision that you don’t want to be part of society, You want to be a psycho? Well, it’s your choice. Either way, I hope you find some peace and don’t hurt anyone else intentionally.
@one_day im talking about someone in my own depressing/fucked up life. I didn’t choose to be antisocial. at one time i was once social, drank at parties, was the so called “man”…..some family fucking secrets spilled out….shit hit the fan…i lost control..i am a mad man now…..depression was first step…anger was next…and unleashing it all led me to where i am today! thats why im waiting for who the fuck knows amount of time before i can seal the deal and vanish.
i praise your madness deadreality and wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Hopefully you can overcome the ties that bind and run wild once more.
Hi Reuben, ……… it’s good to see your letting this stuff out here. It’s much better to “dump” the negative emotions in writing than violence towards another as suggested in a post above.
Hey at least it seems that you now have a diagnosis of add and or bi-polar, its a good place to start. I actually had “some” success with simple anti-siezure meds for the bi polar. No side effects at all with the one I was given.
Empathize with the early life story you shared. Life isn’t equal nor fair at times.
You have a life ahead of you let it unfold.