How are you?
good
Really?
yupp
Are you ok?
Yup
Are you Sure?
yes
Positive?
mhm
Are you lying?
No
ok
ok
This is what always happens to me. When some one ask if I’m OK or how I am: I lie strait to their face. They don’t know I’m lying, no one does, no one can tell. I wish some one could, I wish there was some one I could talk to, that would always know when I’m not OK. Some one who cared, some one who would listen to what was actually wrong and help me,or at least try to. It’s too bad my wishes won’t come true. Every day I’m upset and people ask whats wrong, I tell them it’s nothing and they walk away like nothing ever happened. No one ever presses the issue, no one tries to figure out why I’m practically in tears. I shouldn’t expect them to, I can’t just expect people to care.I mean I try to help other people. They don’t trust me but I still try to help. When my friends are upset I don’t stop talking to them until they tell me what’s bothering them. Most of the time I know they are lying to get me out of their face and when I tell them I know their lying they ask me how. Well I’m upset all the time, I’m the best liar in the country so it’s pretty easy for me to know when some one makes up a bull shit story. It’s simple, people lie because they are embarrassed about whats really wrong, or embarrassed to admit that they are having a bad day. Embarrassed to admit there life is a little bit screwed up. I don’t care, I know my life’s screwed. Everything that could be wrong is, and I don’t care who knows it. It’s not some big secret, every one knows I’m always upset, that somethings always wrong. They never know the real reason though… they don’t know that I spend every second thinking of ways to end my life. They don’t know that I regret everything. They don’t know that I have to wake up every day and endure the pain of an endless hell. They will never know. They don’t care, no one does. I’m all alone in this world, no one loves me, or cares for me. No one wants me or needs me. I’m just a waste of space, something unneeded in the background overlooked by everyone. So maybe the next time some one ask me how I am I’ll tell them the real answer, tell them how horrible things are, tell them I want to die. I’ll Give them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
10 comments
Some one knows you are lying….I do. I’m the same way as you. I wish someone would just push a little harder to find out what’s wrong. But I would probably just go with one more “I’m fine”. I spend almost all day thinking about the end. I too wish someone would listen, get involved, slap me across the face and say “dammit….tell me”. But it don’t happen because I won’t let it happen. You are not alone. There are others like you.
I told some the truth when asked that, and you should have seen them Run ! LOL !
99.9999999999999999 % of humans don’t really wnat the truth as to how we are doing, its become just a part of casual greetings with other to ask that question.
The ones we know that ask, get a real quick reality check if we answer honestly, that we are depressed and thinking of killing ourselves. They fell powerless to help and fearful, feeling that are uncomfortable to them and they freak.
I think they just don’t wanna deal with it. Cause their lives are good and it’s just too much for them to handle. I’ve always thought about when someone says “How are you?” You know like when you just say Hi to someone in the morning. You don’t really wanna take their time up and they wouldn’t really expect the answer you really wanna give.
People don’t want to deal with a depressed person. They are fine without me, they don’t need to help and they don’t want to. I’m just a little roadblock in their way, all they have to do is push me down to get on with their life. I’m nothing to them, nothing but a waste of time
The truth is that 99 people out of every 100 do not care.
They only care when it concerns them, when they gain something or when they are forced to.
Quit crying, wake up and smell the coffee.
I have friends that care but they are not from this planet.
If you want real friends do not mix with inhabitants of this planet.
Yeah, I feel like a burden on someone when I’m sad, I feel like they’re just asking for the sake of asking. Who would wanna sit around and listen to me? Although I wanna listen, with all my heart, not just hear them out, but listen to them.
Thats exactly what it feels like, a burden. Like every-time I need some one to talk to I’m a burden to them. Like whenever I want to feel better I try to reach out to people and I”m just an annoying person that they have to deal with. I’m nothing but extra weight in every one else’s life.
Exactly! And it uncomfortable. This is why I can’t express emotions much, ’cause I don’t know if I’m annoying the other person or not. It’s just so uncomfortable. I’m so insecure about this all the time. And this is why you need a friend who can always be there for you and what not. Well I got none so yeah.
People say they want me to open up to them and so when I’m broken down and alone they yell at me and they don’t understand how hard it is for me to pick up the phone instead of drinking or cutting. And when I do open up to people they start to shut me out because I’m too much to handle.