I survived, you can too.

November 14th, 2011by stillliving

Hello. I know none of you know who I am. You don’t know where I’ve been or what I’ve been through. But I know your pain and you most likely know mine if you are here. I met a boy my freshman year, his name was Jake* (names changed for privacy). He was always there for me and a good friend of mine. He started to like me before I knew it, but I did not feel the same way. He soon became obsessive and so we drifted. The following sophomore year, we became friends because I thought the obsession subsided. I soon became friends with of his friends and fell in love with my social life! I met one of my best friends Alex*, whom I will never forget because of his charm, honesty, and extremely lovable personality. Soon Jake* became jealous of me becoming friends with his friends, especially my growing friendship with Alex*. One night after a football game with Jake, Alex, and the rest of the gang, I log onto my Twitter accounts and see Jake’s harsh and cruel posts about me, calling me a “slut” and a “fake” and a “*****”, and a “whore”. I immediately panic and ask him what is going on and he cyberbullies me yet again, this time via text message saying I don’t care about him. It puzzled me because I was always there for Jake as a friend. I called Alex and began to cry. Alex soon found out the reason was because me and Alex were friends. Jake, the next morning, apologized for his bad behavior and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Me and Alex remained best friends as well as me and Jake. Suddenly, it was happening all over again the next month, he called me names via twitter, the usual “fake – ***** – slut – whore – liar” because of my friendship with Alex. I could not be friends with any of his friends without his obsessive jealousy, while we were not even dating nor did I have feelings for him. I tried extremely hard to just ignore him and what he said. Everyone told me to disregard what he said, for they were not true. I still cried and felt bullied. The next night, I saw Jake at a party and he was drunk. He continually told me sorry and I told him to leave me alone…he molested me that night, reminding me of a past I once had. I tried to forget about him and everything that had happened. The following Sunday, he posted the casual “she’s fake – she’s a ***** – she’s a slut – she’s a whore” on Twitter once more. This time he got some of his friends to join in, whom I thought were my friends. They also cyberbullied Alex, my dear friend who didn’t deserve all the hurt he had to go through because of me. I felt as if though everyone was turning on me, this was the third time this had happened to me in two months. I felt pushed to suicide, and I told a friend. That friend told them, and they all eventually left me alone. Except Jake, who claimed I should just die, “because I’m a terrible person who never cared about him, and hoped I should burn in hell.” as confused as I was (because this was his fault) I said “no. I’m taking my life back. The one you took from me.”  In the grand scheme, Jake was a very psychopathic and obsessive person because he liked me and I did not return the feelings. He became jealous and controlled my life by cyberbullying me, molesting me, constantly harassing me, and almost made me commit suicide. Me and Alex are no longer friends because it caused so much trouble, but I love him so much and will never forget him… I survived an obsessive psychopath controlling my life, and a lot of my friends turning on me, and losing my best friend. You think that cyberbullying means nothing, but in actuality I know it hurts. This story may be so irrelevant to all you, and none of you may read it. But it felt good to put my feelings out there, and I survived. You can too.

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