If I could just vanish from this world, I would. If my family could just forget that I was ever born, I would walk away from my life, from everything I have into a forest or the mountains and quietly disappear. No one would remember me, no one would notice that I’m gone;  for even when I’m in a sea of people, I feel invisible.  It is as if I am surrounded by a wall of glass, separating me from the rest of the world. I can see, hear, and even feel everything happening around me but this invisible barrier keeps me isolated from them.  I have lived for 20 years in this kind of solitude and the pain gets stronger and stronger everyday that it is slowly becoming numb and I am becoming desensitized. It feels as if my soul has been sucked out of me and all that’s left now is an empty shell encasing a cold beating heart that is torturous keeping me alive. It gets harder and harder everyday to endure the hours that I am awake and conscious of my existence. Is my life’s only purpose to torture me until I slowly wither from the inside out? What is the point of life if I am to go through it alone without even a single person who I can share my sorrows and happiness with?
4 comments
What else is there. Your only 20. ( why are you alone for? are you curesd?)
Goes to show how much variety is in the human race.
I want mostly solitude and cannot seem to get it.
You want a deep connection and sharing and feel like it is not there for you.
I would truly give you my family and associates if I could.
They would provide enough caring and concern for a lifetime.
I do hope you meet people you can trust and go in depth with.
Good fortune.
I know how you feel.You want companionship but when you’re lonely and depressed it
feels impossible to reach out to anyone.Do you have any interests.I go jogging ,it’s the only thing stopping me at the moment from going completely Insane
I agree with UN Owen
Solitude is what I wish for, yet money is needed to exist, have to venture out for supplies and the like.
I wish I could live alone, way out in a desert, or in the North West, southern Alaska and be self sufficient.
Yet I’m not in the best health, nor do I have the knowlege of how to live far removed from civilization.
The mental part I think I could handle, no contact with other humans would be ok as long as there is nature around me. Trees, mountains, streams and rivers, the only things I really need to see on a daily basis.