Im a coward.

  November 23rd, 2011 by M1STAY

Ill never live a normal life. Not with my past. I just want a time machine. I knwo I should just look forward and learn from my past… but its not as simple as people make it seem when they say it. Im just scared of whats gunna happen after wards. After I end it all. will I be forever in blackness or will i really go to a heaven ? I know nieave… but it gives u peace knowing that something is better. Even if  there ws though God would probably wouldn’t let me in, cause suicide is a sin and all. When i tell people I want to kill myself they get mad and say that im selfish for only thinking about myself. 🙁 it really hurts. Im already in enough pain. Im a usless human being anyways. They should just put me down cause ill have no impact on this world….Not if im always gunna feel this way. I fined it hard to do anything theses days.  I use ot have big dreams, sometimes i still imagine them happening but  I know deep down that they wont. Ugh im such a weak coward! 🙁

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