The kind that’s numbing, the kind that puts you in a perpetual fog and makes you want to sleep all day.
I’ve been depressed for the past five years. Lately I’ve been feeling okay most of the time, but then there are moments of weaknesses when I’m alone, when I’m overwhelmed by the futility of it all. When thoughts of suicide arrive, I’m not even surprised anymore. I’m a senior in high school and I keep feeling like I’m on the verge of fucking up whatever chance I have at a future, but the thing is, I can’t see myself living past twenty; I don’t think I could take living and feeling and thinking like this all the time.
I have no one to talk to. I’m the listener, the advice-giver, and I believe myself when I tell someone, “Everything’s going to be okay,” but I don’t believe it when someone tells me the same.
I’m so lonely.
4 comments
I didn’t give myself any of a future before I graduated. I’m 19 years old now and I’m actually going places. I felt almost the same way in High School
ish been like that O:. Never wanting to go to school. Never wanting to wake up. Never even want to get out of bed. I barely get out of my bed to go to school and i already wanting to go home. But your almost done with school and your free unlike me.
I never thought the world would still be here, I thought it would end before I hit 18, I’m now 51.
The world was a different place, the constant fear of Nuclear War, we don’t think about that to much anymore yet we are probably at as much or more danger of it now.
Keep your chin up, things will get different.
you don’t need to worry so much- your future isn’t now or never; five years from now, you’ll think back that you’d have never guessed where you end up, and the worrying was pointless