Im sick of suffering

  November 26th, 2011 by Stacey Corbin

I suffer everyday.
I suffer from the guilt. The guilt of getting my moms old high school sweet heart and setting them up and my mom said they had crazy sex. BTW my mom and dad were married and they still are so i helped my mom cheat on my dad. I hate my father. He is so abusive. Then the guy that slept with my mom just left one day and never said a word and now i have to live with the guilt of what i know and i can never tell my dad.
I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome so i can never leave the house unless i know there is going to be more than one bathroom at the place i will be going to . It controls my life so badly! i turned down parties and trips to broadway and plane rides to florida. I hate my life.. I hate sufferring.
I suffer in school. I have no friends because i am really smart. Everyone calls me a *****, slut, whore, ****, asshole. and gives me dirty looks. I feel so alone. There are rumors flying around about me all the time. This weeks was that i liked killing people and the week before that was that i was pregnant. I feel like i cant fit in anywher. I dread going to school and i dread going home.
I suffer from depression but my parents dont believe in therapy so i cant go and get help.
I suffer from suicidal thoughts but i cant tell anybody because they will just send me to a mental hospital and thats not what i want. i jsut want someone to talk to and care about me. My parents call me a mistake so obviously i cant talk to them. I hate my life so bad. I suffer pain and guilt every single god damned day of my life. I jsut want it to end but i am afraid of dying so i cant kill myslef but i want to die. my life sucks so bad. i hate myself and everyone else around me.

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